George Carlin: You Are All Diseased Page #5

---

business

criminal, a**hole

sucking on the

wet end of it.

But hey, the news is

not all bad for me,

not all bad,

you want to know

the good part?

Cancer of the mouth.

Good.

F*** 'em.

Makes me happy.

It's an attractive

disease,

goes nice with

a cell phone.

So light up.

Suspend a man and

suck that smoke

deep down into

your empty suit

and blow it

out your ass

you f***ing cocksucker.

Thank you.

Thank you.

Hey,

here's another question

I've been pondering.

What is all this

sh*t about angels?

Have you heard this?

Yeah, three out

of four people

now believe in angels.

What are you

f***ing stupid?

Has everybody lost

their f***ing mind

in this country?

Angels, sh*t.

You know what

I think it is?

I think it's a

massive collective

psychotic chemical

flashback

of all the drugs,

all the drugs,

smoked, swallowed,

snorted, shot

and absorbed rectally

by all Americans

from 1960 to 1990.

Thirty years of

adulterated street drugs

will get you some

f***ing angels my friend.

Angels sh*t.

What about goblins huh?

Doesn't anybody

believe in goblins?

Never hear about them

except on Halloween

and its always negative

sh*t too you know?

And zombies, where the

f*** are all the zombies?

That's the trouble

with zombies,

they're unreliable.

I say if you're going

to buy the angels sh*t

you might as well go

for the zombie

package as well.

Here's another

horrifying example,

aspect of

American culture,

the pussification,

the continued,

the continued

pussification

of the American male

in the form...

yeah all right,

in the form of

Harley Davidson

theme restaurants.

What the f*** is

going on here?

Harley Davidson used

to mean something.

It stood for

biker attitude.

Grimy outlaws and

there sweaty mamas,

full of beer and crank

rolling around

on Harley's

looking for a good time

destroying property,

raping teenagers and

killing policemen.

All very necessary

activities by the way

but now theme

restaurants

and this soft sh*t

obviously didn't come

from hardcore bikers.

It came from these

weekend motorcyclists.

These fraudulent,

two day a week

motherfuckers

who have their bikes

trucked into

Sturgis, South Dakota

for the big rally

and then ride around

like they just come

in off the road.

Dentist and bureaucrats

and p*ssy boy

software designers

getting up on a Harley

cause they think

it makes them cool.

Well hey Skeezits

you ain't cool,

you're f***ing chilly.

And chilly ain't

never been cool.

And here as long

as were talking

about theme restaurants,

I got a proposition

for you,

I think if white people

are going to burn

down black churches

then black people

ought to burn down the

Rate this script:3.3 / 4 votes