Zombieland Page #5

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LITTLE ROCK *

(nods) *

Pick our own leader! *

TALLAHASSEE *

Even give the place a name! *

‘Tallahassee.’ *

WICHITA *

We already need a new leader. *

LITTLE ROCK *

But why couldn’t we start a *

community? *

COLUMBUS *

We found Bill Murray, didn’t we? *

Bad example. *

DETROIT (O.S.) *

Survivors are few and far between. *

But they’re out there. Here we go-*

Wilshire east. Then left to 135 *

North Grand. Good luck. God *

bless. *

(beat) *

And thank you for using On-Star. *

(CLICK) *

Superimposed on-screen: a TITLE: 33. Keep Hope Alive. *

TALLAHASSEE *

Does she sound hot to you? *

COLUMBUS *

People in the telecommunications *

industry usually are. *

TALLAHASSEE *

She’s got a sister... *

Tallahassee starts the truck and pulls away from the curb. *

LITTLE ROCK *

(to Wichita) *

3 against 1. *

12.

WICHITA *

Whatever. *

Columbus reaches for Wichita’s hand. She pulls it away. *

COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

I know what you’re thinking: these *

two lovebirds should be busy *

repopulating earth. Like Adam and *

Eve. Or Sarah Connor and Kyle *

Reese. Problem is, Wichita and I *

broke up... *

EXT. BEACH - DAY - FLASHBACK

WICHITA walks out of the ocean, slamming in a one-piece.

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

...a couple weeks ago.

COLUMBUS is lying on a towel, reading a BOOK, which he subtly

puts away as she approaches.

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

In the movies, a first kiss means

happily ever after. But in real

life, a first kiss is only a first

kiss. The beginning of a

relationship. In this case, a

relationship between two people who

epically suck at relationships.

The trouble started like this...

Wichita sits down on her towel... SNATCHES the BOOK. Stares:

WICHITA:

‘Rookie Dad:
Adventures in

Fatherhood’?

COLUMBUS:

No, no! It’s not what you think!

I don’t want to be an actual

father. Not yet. I’m just trying *

to relate to Little Rock. *

WICHITA:

OK. Um. She’s not your daughter.

COLUMBUS:

I guess more like sister-in-law.

WICHITA:

Nope.

13.

COLUMBUS:

Girlfriend’s sister?

WICHITA:

Hadn’t discussed the G-word.

COLUMBUS:

We are dating, right?

WICHITA:

Dating. Right.

She smiles to put him at ease. But awfully NERVOUSLY. He

takes her hand. She doesn’t entirely fight it.

COLUMBUS:

It occurs to me. We know each *

other... but we don’t really know *

each other. Stuff like... what *

would be your favorite place to

honeymoon? Sorry! Something

lighter. Who was your 1st grade

teacher? OK. What’s your favorite

bottled water?

(off Wichita’s stare)

Another time.

EXT. IKEA SHOWROOM FLOOR - DAY - FLASHBACK

COLUMBUS (V.O.)

And the trouble ended, not long

after, like this...

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