Zombieland Page #4

---

COLUMBUS:

That’s not true!

TALLAHASSEE:

He’s right! Shark attacks.

WICHITA:

Slavery. And World War 2. And...

LITTLE ROCK:

Head-lice.

9.

TALLAHASSEE:

I once had head-lice.

(frowns)

Though I got it from a girlfriend.

She was technically a person. *

(to Columbus and Little

Rock)

Sorry.

COLUMBUS:

That’s OK. We prefer you on her

side of the argument.

(to Wichita)

I know you’re skeptical. But you

know the saying. ‘It takes a

village!’

WICHITA:

And where are we finding this...

village?

Columbus has no answer. But TALLAHASSEE raises an eyebrow. *

INT. YUKON - NIGHT *

The FOURSOME finishes climbing into a BLACK CHEVY YUKON, *

Tallahassee’s ubiquitous number ‘3’ on the side. Tallahassee *

and Little Rock sit up front, Wichita and Columbus in back. *

Tallahassee reaches UP and hits the ON-STAR button (GM’s *

roadside service). After two rings, a sassy, young AFRICAN-*

AMERICAN WOMAN’S VOICE comes over the car SPEAKERS. *

DETROIT (O.S.) *

On-Star, how can I help you... *

TALLAHASSEE *

Detroit! Tallahassee! *

DETROIT (O.S.) *

Tally, sweetheart! Praise Jesus. *

Been worried about you guys! You *

don’t call, you don’t write! How *

ya doing? *

TALLAHASSEE *

Better now. You float my boat, *

beautiful... *

DETROIT (O.S.) *

Quit. *

10.

COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

By way of introduction, meet *

Detroit. The ex-On-Star operator *

who wasn’t about to let a few flesh-*

eaters force her into retirement. *

Now she’s the Guardian Angel of *

Zombieland. Our eye in the sky. *

DETROIT (O.S.)

How can I help?

TALLAHASSEE *

We were hoping you might be able to *

lead us to other survivors. *

DETROIT (O.S.) *

Lonely, eh? Well... rumor has it *

there’s a big, safe community on *

the eastern seaboard... *

LITTLE ROCK *

See?! *

COLUMBUS *

Be real nice to put down roots. *

Call someplace-*

LITTLE ROCK *

Home. *

COLUMBUS (V.O.) *

The magic word. Ever since I lost *

a family, and found one, all I’ve *

ever wanted to be... to feel... is *

home. *

WICHITA *

Where we come from, home’s a four-*

letter word. You wanna cross the *

country for some ‘community’ you *

know nothing about? That’s the *

kind of stupid you have rules for. *

TALLAHASSEE *

(to Little Rock) *

For just this once, your big sis *

may be right. The east coast is *

3,000 miles away-ish. With a lot *

of mindless meat-lovers in between. *

Little Rock and Columbus look defeated. Then an idea quickly *

rekindles his enthusiasm. *

11.

COLUMBUS *

Maybe we don’t have to find a *

village. We can found a village. *

Y’know, start it up. Gather our *

own people. *

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes