Trainwreck Page #7

22.

Amy just stares ahead. She looks over at him. He is chugginga gallon of water in the bathroom with a small washcloth overhis raised penis.

STEVEN (CONT’D)

We went verbal. The boys make thenoise.

EXT. AMY’S APARTMENT - DAY

Noam panhandles.

NOAM:

Yes I’m loving it, rastaman.

Digging it. With the rolling bag,

mixed messages. Come back overhere, I love you on Glee.

Amy walks up.

AMY:

How’s it going?

NOAM:

Amy, what’s happening?

AMY:

You got a new sign?

The sign says:
“I blame you” on one side and “Lift me up” onthe other.

NOAM:

Yeah you know I'm working a coupleideas out.

AMY:

I’m going to visit my dad.

NOAM:

Oh how is he?

AMY:

Eh, we put him in an assisted

living facility, I don’t know hownice it is actually.

NOAM:

I know exactly how you feel. Thecar I take a sh*t in, they towed

it.

23.

AMY:

Sucks. Sorry man, I’ll see youlater.

NOAM:

See you later, I’ll be here. Hey,

I’m digging that back camel-toe.

INT. ASSISTED LIVING TV ROOM - DAY

GORDON (late 50s), in a wheelchair, eating animal crackers.

Others in the room are very old. Gordon and Amy watch TV.

NORMAN (99) has the floor, sits with MAX.

NORMAN:

What a ridiculous statement, you’retalking about the most talentedplayer on all levels. None of thesebums are the equal of Babe Ruth.

GORDON:

Norman, Babe Ruth was awful.

AMY:

Stop it.

NORMAN:

How could you negate facts?

AMY:

Be nice to him.

GORDON:

I am nice to him. He’s not nice to

me.

NORMAN:

Babe Ruth was a superhero. He wasSuperman.

GORDON:

It’s easy to be Superman whenyou’ve never played against a blackguy your whole life.

NORMAN:

What does white, black got to dowith it?

GORDON:

Every twelve year-old in theDominican Republic right now couldprobably beat Babe Ruth.

24.

NORMAN:

Blah blah blah blah blah.

GORDON:

Before 1947 it’s one big asterisk.

AMY:

Can you just keep a low profile forlike two weeks here?

GORDON:

Oh I’m sorry I don’t want to offendany of these people, f***ing each

other with viagra day and night,

God forbid.

AMY:

Can you just be nice and makefriends?

GORDON:

After seven o’clock, after dinner

it turns into Caligula around here,

trust me. It’s a madhouse. Like

the Playboy Mansion for Chrissakes.

AMY:

This place?

GORDON:

Yes. You got my Mets stuff?

AMY:

Yeah.

GORDON:

Amy?

AMY:

I’ll bring it by.

GORDON:

Amy? Look at me. Amy.

AMY:

Kim made me throw a lot of it away.

GORDON:

Kim made you. Your little sister.

AMY:

She’s mean as a dog.

25.

GORDON:

Jesus.

AMY:

I tried. I’m so sorry.

GORDON:

What do I care, it’s all

memorabilia? I’m memorabilia at

this point.

AMY:

Don't say that.

INT. HOSPITAL RECEPTION - DAY

Rate this script:2.5 / 2 votes