The To Do List Page #3

- Brandy tells us everything.

- Too much, if you ask me.

And we trust her to make

the right decisions.

Or, at least, learn from her mistakes.

Right, honey?

You need to learn how to lie.

She does not need to lie.

In this house, honesty is the only policy.

- That's right.

- There you go, honey.

And we think this hangover

is punishment enough.

You're not even grounding her?

Un-f***ing-believable.

- Hey!

- Language.

Sorry I'm late. I experimented with alcohol

last night and puked on my way here.

I had to stop for mouth wash.

- My name is...

- Brandy klark. Yeah, I remember.

Do you ever wear a shirt?

Very funny.

Man, last night was embarrassing.

You must think I'm some type

of sex maniac or something...

But I promise you, next time, I will ask

before I strip down and start kissing you.

- Okay.

- Anyway... -...

I take it you're here

for lifeguard orientation.

How did you know?

All right, then. Let's go meet the boss.

- This is the pool manager?

- He is sleeping.

Yeah, I can see that.

Excuse me. Sir?

Excuse me.

Hello.

Excuse me. Hi. Rise and shine.

This is... it's all happ...

It's all happening.

- It's a happy...

- Excuse me. I think you're dreaming.

Please stop. Stop it. Please.

Hi.

- Hi.

- I'm Brandy. Brandy klark?

- It's orientation.

- She's a newbie. Cut her some slack.

Cut me some slack?

Correct me if I'm wrong...

But I think we're here to work,

not hang out and get a suntan.

- You guys.

- Hair of the dog...

I can't believe you're drinking that.

Do you know what time it is?

No. I partied on Friday.

What day is it?

- It's Monday.

- F***ing a, man.

All right, I better get to work.

Have at it, newbie.

You expect me to clean up

all that by myself?

- Yes.

- I can help you.

No, you won't.

I was thinking the colors for the wedding,

burnt sienna and turquoise.

- Do they have burnt sienna flowers?

- I don't know.

- Hi, sweetie. Dinner is waiting.

- Hi.

- Sorry I'm late.

- Hey, sweetie.

- Good evening.

- How was lifeguard orientation?

Humiliating.

My burn-out boss

decided to make fun of me...

In front of this

incredibly hot college guy.

Shocker.

Mom, when exactly

did you lose your virginity?

On our wedding night.

Pass the potatoes, please.

- George.

- The potatoes, Jean. Please?

- Oh, honestly.

- Thank you.

- Way to go, dumb-ass.

- Shut the front door, Amber.

- Shut the back door, Brandy.

- Not the back door.

- Not the back door.

- What?

There's doors we don't do.

The back door's one of them.

It's the '90s.

You'll have to get with the times.

- Fine, we can get call waiting.

- I'm not talking about call waiting.

I'm talking about Brandy.

She's clearly curious about sex.

Rate this script:5.0 / 1 vote