The Legend of Awesomest Maximus Page #3

we welcome you

to Greece.

Let us drink as friends!

As friends!

At least until

one of us fucks

the other over.

Oh, no. No, no, no.

I'm kidding.

It's a joke.

(laughs)

She gets it.

(laughs)

You f***er!

You f***er.

Orlando.

That's Erotic's wife.

I know that.

Could you be

any less subtle?

I could try.

(Orlando)

Excuse me. Pardon me.

I'm trying to rendevous

with Ellen.

F***ing douche bag.

(gasps)

You shouldn't be here.

That's what you said

last night.

Last night, I was

rolling on E.

And the night before?

I think I was

pretty drunk.

(whispers)

Yeah, you were

pretty wasted.

I've been messed up

all week.

(whispers)

I know.

This is the best

spring break ever!

Oh, Orlando.

(Ellen in distance)

Oh, oh!

(gasping)

Oh, oh!

Oh! Oh! Oh!

This boar is fantastic!

(Ellen shrieking

in background)

Orlando!

You're amazing!

I would have never thought

of putting this with this.

You have a real eye

for fashion.

Oh, my God, seriously?

You think? Really?

Well, better than any man

I've ever met.

Oh, I am so messed up

right now,

but I love

hanging out with you!

Me too!

I have the best idea.

I have the best idea.

You should come back

to Troy with me.

Okay-dokey.

Let's not get crazy.

I'm serious.

It would be

so much fun.

I have--

I have a huge

trust fund.

How huge?

It's pretty big.

If you come back,

it will break the peace

between Troy and Greece,

millions of men will die,

the gods'll curse us,

we'll get burned alive.

But it's been

a great week!

It has.

Plus, it'll keep my dad

from thinking that

I like guys.

What about the other day

when I caught you

watching the guard pee?

I mean, listen.

I'm definitely

Iike, going through

some sort of

experimental phase

right now?

But I like chicks.

No, I do.

I like chicks.

I-- I like chicks.

Especially chicks

with a keen sense

of style like you!

Look at that!

(laughs)

You're sweet.

So will you come back

with me, please?

Please?

Pretty please?

Well, it could be

kind of hot

to have a--

war fought over me,

so... count me in.

Yes! Yes!

Hello, Mr. Awesomest.

Hey, Orlando.

Greeks sure know

how to party, huh?

Yeah.

I love you.

Thanks.

Do you love me, too?

Where's this going?

I have something

to tell you,

and you need

to promise me

that you won't

be mad, okay?

So put up

your pinky

and let's do

a pinky swear.

Hi.

Oh, sh*t.

Back to Greece!

No, Awesomest!

Please wait.

Hold on!

I am in love

with her.

Orlando, you've been

rolling on Ecstasy

for a week.

You love everybody.

That's totally true.

But this one

is for real.

Orlando, when the Greeks

find out that Ellen

has gone missing

they're going to sh*t.

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