The House Bunny Page #4

Oh, my God.

There's boys on our lawn.

Are they lost?

Nice.

The Leaning Panther. I like that.

Yoga's hot.

So, are you a Zeta?

Oh, I wish.

Yeah, I do, too, because Zeta would be

my new favorite hizzety-hang.

Well, she is not a Zeta...

because she's our new

hizzety-housemother.

She'll be hizzy-tizzies...

She'll be here all the time.

You're hiring me?

Oh, give me some of that.

Oh, God bless her.

- Why are they acting like that?

- Yes.

Oh, that's boys just being boys.

Thank goodness.

Oh, my gosh! I am just so happy

that you guys want me here.

You are not gonna be sorry.

So this is how we're gonna get pledges?

Hiring an archaically superficial

reflection of the male fantasy?

Well, guys like her.

And since guys don't like us,

I figured she could help.

So, in order to be in a sisterhood,

now we have to be popular?

No, no. In order to keep our house,

though, we do have to be popular. Yes.

So, I figured Shelley here could

teach us how.

Okay, look, don't get me wrong.

I love guys.

But I lived in a house

filled with girls for nine years,

and I know that there's nothing better

than just being with your sisters...

sharing, talking all night,

painting each other's bodies...

baking penis cookies,

playing with monkeys...

- Where'd you live?

- The Playboy Mansion.

No, that doesn't make her a hooker. Sorry.

She's shy. She's just...

She's so shy. That's Lilly,

also, by the way.

Lilly.

And this here is Harmony.

Harmony.

And Carrie Mae.

Carrie Mae.

And then Joanne, over there.

Joanne.

Wow, you hired the Exorcist.

That's great.

What is that?

Is that like a Yoda thing, or what?

It's fun, but, what...

h, no, no. It's just this thing I do

to remember people's names.

Natalie.

So, thank you guys so much

for letting me be your housemother.

No, it's no problem.

Because you just...

This is just gonna be great.

But I have to go take a shower...

because I haven't had one since I slept

in my car and spent the night in jail.

Sweet.

- Hi, girls.

- Oh, my God!

Shelley! Hi. Where's your robe?

Oh, I just like to air dry.

Oh, she just likes to air dry.

My God, you're so vapid.

Oh, my gosh. Thank you so much.

You're like the hundredth person

who's told me that.

Shell? Just a quick little side note...

I don't think that some

of the girls in this house...

have even seen their own bodies naked...

so they probably don't really want

to see your perfectly engineered b*obs.

Well, I'm just walking around

in the body God and Dr. Borkman gave me.

Hey, Shelley, why don't you throw

some clothes on?

We've got a lot of work to do.

This year, we are gonna get

lots and lots of pledges.

Okay.

Oh, we also need to raise money

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