The House Bunny

Synopsis: Finding family. Shelley Darlingson was raised in an orphanage, finally happy when she blossoms into a fox and moves into the Playboy Mansion. Unfortunately, she's summarily expelled on her 27th birthday(she's now too old). In desperation she takes a job as house mother for a sorority of misfits losing their house for lack of members. They have but a few months to find 30 pledges, or a sorority of mean girls will take over their place. Shelley figures that girls will pledge a house that boys find interesting, so she sets out to make the Zetas alluring, not act too smart, and host great parties. Can she succeed, and what about her own makeover? Sabotage is everywhere, plus it's hard to be one's self.
Genre: Comedy, Romance
Director(s): Fred Wolf
Production: Sony Pictures/Columbia
  2 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.5
Metacritic:
55
Rotten Tomatoes:
43%
PG-13
Year:
2008
97 min
$48,237,389
Website
1,056 Views


It all started 27 years ago.

That's an orphanage.

That's me in the basket.

I guess somebody didn't want me.

I hear they did want

the basket back, though.

But it was fine in the orphanage.

That's me in the third row.

I wasn't very popular.

Of course, everybody

wanted to be adopted.

Luckily, lots of families came.

And everybody got to go

live with a family.

Oh, except me.

But I tried not to give up hope.

Then, one day...

something magical happened,

just like out of a fairy tale.

Do you remember the one where

the wolf huffed and puffed...

and blew the piggies' house down?

And he was wearing a glass slipper,

I think, and he had a pumpkin?

Plus there was that other thing?

Well, the same thing happened to me...

only vastly different.

I changed.

And the next thing you know,

people seemed to like me for once.

And then pictures were taken,

and suddenly I found the family...

I always wanted.

Oh, I forgot to tell you,

my name is Shelley.

Now I live in the Playboy Mansion.

And this is where I want to live

happily ever after.

- Throw the ball to me, Kim.

- Oh, nice catch. Awesome throw.

- Hey, Lauren.

- Hi, Shelley!

Hi, Hef! Hi, girls!

Hi, Shelley. Looking good.

- Marvin!

- Oh, hey, Shelley.

Thank you.

You guys have to try one of these.

Marvin makes the best margaritas.

That's 'cause they're mangoritas.

I invented them myself.

I added my own little Marvin twist to them.

Well, you're the best twister I know.

No, Shelley, you're the best twister.

- Shelley.

- Hi!

Why are you keeping the rich,

good-looking, famous guys all to yourself?

- You should introduce me.

- Oh, of course.

Guys, this is Cassandra. She's

only been here for a few months,

but everybody loves her,

because she's super-beautiful...

and she never throws up

on anybody when she's drunk.

So, Shelley, are you a centerfold?

She wishes.

Yeah, I do.

So keep all your fingers crossed.

Hopefully Hef'll give me the good news

this weekend at my birthday party.

I've got my "turn ons"

all ready and everything.

Being a centerfold is the highest,

most prestigious honor there is.

It says,

"I'm naked in the middle of a magazine.

"Unfold me".

I gotta tell you, it seems

you've got a pretty good life here.

H, it's paradise.

We are just one big family.

I'm so happy.

Why would I wanna live anywhere else?

I love this one. Don't you guys?

We'll put this on the Mansion tab

and have it all sent over this afternoon.

Aren't we just the luckiest girls

in the whole world?

Yes, you are.

Your birthday party on Friday's

gonna be so much fun!

Shelley!

Oh, my God.

I bet you're gonna get Miss November.

Good morning, Shelley.

Rise and shine, sweetheart.

Good morning, Marvin.

Good morning, Pooter.

You're looking dapper.

Your blueberry French toast is ready.

Ooh-la-la.

That's French, right?

Yeah, but more important

than the food...

I actually added something

to your orange juice.

Oh, Marvin,

thank you so much for telling me.

Usually I don't find out

until much later.

Oh, no. To add zest to the drink,

first I put in some vanilla extract...

then, of course, some egg yolks,

and then, I have a secret ingredient.

All right, you twisted my arm,

it's chili powder.

Yeah. It just explodes your taste buds,

so the drink just envelops your mouth.

Oh, I love having my mouth enveloped.

What's that?

Is this from Hef?

Is this my birthday gift?

Oh, Pooter, is it finally happening?

Am I Miss November?

That's what I wished for

when I blew out my candle.

Oh, my gosh, I just told you my wish.

Now it won't come true.

I'm so sorry. I didn't mean

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Karen McCullah

Karen McCullah (formerly Karen McCullah Lutz) is an American screenwriter and novelist. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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