The Final Girls Page #4

Sleeping Beauty back there.

Mmm.

Are we there yet?

Oh, hi!

I'm Nancy.

What's your name?

Max.

First time

away from home?

It's okay.

It's hard to be away

from your parents, huh?

Best summer ever!

Oh! Yes.

Whew.

Well, kiddo,

this is the summer

that's going to

change your life.

No kidding.

Hey, Nance,

that guitar is choice.

Thanks, Blake.

Bitching hair.

Ah.

Okay. So, we're

in the movie.

Uh-huh. How do we

get outta here?

Yeah, I like that question.

That's a really,

really good question.

Duncan, can you answer

that question, please?

What are you talking about?

It's 1986!

Our homes

don't exist yet.

They're probably just

landfills waiting to be

turned into

crappy subdivisions.

We don't exist yet.

I know for a fact my

parents haven't met

because I was

an unplanned child.

Anyone wanna help me

pick some strawberries?

No, but I'll

give you a hand

with those melons.

Talking about her b*obs!

You guys get me, right?

Yeah,

we do, brother.

Kurt is insatiable.

Um, okay,

so Mimi's in the woods,

that means everything

is right on schedule.

She hooks up

with that hiker.

But then she gets

killed, right?

Yeah, exactly.

Everyone who has sex

in this movie dies.

It's awesome.

I got into

bodybuilding big time.

Yeah. Oh, my God,

can I touch it?

Yeah, touch it.

Oh, wow.

The backside's

just as hard.

Touch the backside.

That's right. Everyone.

I'm with Gertie

on this one.

Let's just take

their van and bail.

What do we

have to lose?

Yeah, did I say that?

I did? Okay.

We actually probably

shouldn't talk to them.

Oh! What's up, funbags?

Funbags. Right.

Yay, feminism.

Listen, we need

to borrow your van

for a little while.

Is that okay? Yeah?

I don't know.

What's in it for me?

How about my friends

don't kick your ass?

Oh! This guy's

your friend?

Yeah, right.

You want to go?

No, no. God, no.

Bicep, smash.

And that would kill you.

That's a karate technique.

No, I don't.

I've never actually

fought anyone

before in my life.

Yeah, well, I have.

So many times.

Seven times.

Hey, this is so weird.

Do me a favor and just

zing me. Just get me.

Fine. How about

you go suck a turd?

The writing

is so bad.

Okay, tell you what.

You find the keys

and the van's yours.

Oops.

Really?

I'm glad

that you die.

- What?

- Nothing!

What she meant to say was,

that we all die eventually.

Technically, we start dying

the moment we're born.

Yeah, right.

Yes, but not

to overwhelm you...

Okay.

I liked you when you were

laughing at my jokes.

Now, I just think

you're weird.

Okay, let's just

go get the...

Sorry. Let's go

get the keys.

Oh, hey, you wanna

give me a hand?

Sure.

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