The Final Girls Page #3

And then one summer,

the hottest one on record,

the counselors decided

to play a little prank on him.

No one really knows

how Billy was

before it happened.

The counselors hated him,

and the other kids

bullied him mercilessly.

Stop! Go away!

Billy, open up.

I know

how to get him out.

Soak this moment in, babe,

because you're always

gonna remember me.

What does that tattoo mean?

It was given to me in juvie.

I was caught

stealing cherries.

I'm a... I'm a cherry thief.

Neat.

Oh.

Nice legs.

What time they open?

Kurt?

Kurt?

I'm going to

get some air.

The exits

are blocked!

Duncan, is there an exit

behind the screen?

Yes. Yes.

Come on!

Go, go, go.

Go, go, go.

Max!

Oh, God!

What happened?

Where the hell

are we?

I don't know.

Did the theater burn down?

That was the scariest

thing I have ever seen.

You're alive!

Oh, thank God!

What does

poison ivy look like?

Because I think I got...

Help me.

Guys, somebody's coming.

Hey, do you guys know

the way to Camp Blue Finch?

Tina!

Yeah?

Oh, my God.

I'm having

a psychotic episode.

We all saw

the same thing, right?

Maybe it's a dream.

A collective dream.

If this is a dream,

then there's a very

strong chance

that my dad's going

to come up to us naked

and offer us

some pecan pie.

But don't take any.

It is not pecan pie.

Oh.

Maybe we're dead

and this is heaven.

This can't

be heaven.

Max is here

and she's Jewish.

Oh, right.

Well, maybe

it's Jewish heaven.

Look!

Hey, do you guys know

the way to Camp Blue Finch?

Uh, yeah.

Just keep going

the way you're going.

Oh, wow, okay.

Thanks so much.

We're not dead.

We're insane!

No, we're not.

And I don't think we're

in the Valley anymore.

Is anybody getting

any bars?

No.

Eight, seven...

...six, five...

Hey, do you guys know

the way to Camp Blue Finch?

Yeah, actually

we're counselors,

and we can show you

if you'd just give us a ride.

Oh, rad! Yeah, hop in.

Tubular!

Dude, what

are you doing?

Do we have a choice?

We're kind of stuck.

Let's go.

Max.

Come on, guys.

You guys coming?

I can't believe

you guys are counselors, too.

We've never had

this many before.

When the kids

get here next week,

they're gonna be

so pumped.

Hey, where are

you guys' suitcases?

Because, honestly,

your clothes,

they're disgusting.

Says the guy

in the crop top.

What's up?

Are you guys poor people?

Are you guys poor?

Uh, we packed

light. Yeah.

Mmm-hmm.

What did you

pack, Tina?

The basics, bikini,

mouthwash, diaphragm.

Hell, yeah,

you did.

'Cause they're

gonna get so naked.

How did you know?

Spring break,

forever.

Hey, guys, we're here!

Whoo!

Someone wake up

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