The Big Gay Musical Page #5

? I'm proud to be a Christian ?

? and to love my fellow man. ?

? Proud to be a Christian ?

? to help others when I can. ?

? I'm proud to be a Christian ?

? and be nice to everyone. ?

? We're not better than

the Jews or the Arabs ?

? as they continue to fight. ?

? We're not better than the

Catholics, those boozers, ?

? but we are always right. ?

And do you know why

I know we're right?

? And Jesus said to ?

? praise Him. ?

? Jesus said to ?

? love Him. ?

? Jesus said to ?

? glorify Him. ?

? Yes, Jesus said. ?

? Oh, yes He said ?

? find salvation. ?

? He said make a...

donation. ?

? Jesus said, oh Jesus said,

oh yes He said! ?

Isn't she wonderful?

Everyday I thank the Lord for

bringing me Patty Maye.

Now, do you know

what it is time for?

Well, I hope so.

It is time to hear about Jesus!

Amen!

But before I can tell y'all about

the word of the Lord,

I need to talk to you about

something very important.

My friends,

partners in my ministry,

we have fallen on hard times.

Now, we want to express across

the world our message,

but, we are running out of money!

Now you know all the

money in your wallets

and in your bank accounts

and on your credit cards,

well, that is not your money!

That is God's money,

and God needs his money back!

Hallelujah!

And then last thing, just

at the end of "creation"

I want a sforzando

on the "aah",

so just watch me, it will

be like "aaaaahh!"

Like that, yeah?

Yes.

Thank you so much.

Have a good second act.

Thank you.

So, what do you think I should do?

About what?

Your parents or your virginity?

What? Huh? What?

You're a vir...

You'll have to excuse her. She's

never had to use that word before.

That is not true. I used to pray to

that Mary person and she was a vir...

Are you really a virgin?

This probably wasn't the best

place for this conversation.

We can help you out

with your virginity.

Oh, no you can't.

Leave him alone.

I didn't mean it like that. I meant

come out with us tonight.

We know a lot of hot boys.

We can get you laid.

Come out with us!

I'm not trying to get laid.

Going out tonight might be good

for you. Take your mind off things.

Give you a chance to clear your head.

And Sebastian and I will be there

to make sure these whores

don't put you on an express

train to hell.

Are you calling me a whore?

If I wasn't sitting in this chair

right now, I'd take my...

But you are, Blanche!

You are!

To alcohol!

Go-go dancing. I couldn't

imagine doing that.

Is he for real?

Red panties.

I know, and he has a zit

on his right butt cheek.

Alright, let's get him another.

I'll be right back.

Okay.

Hey! Hey you!

How you doing?

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