Shrek the Musical Page #5

---

All you have to do is

marry a princess.

- Go on.

- So just sit back and relax, My Lord,

because it's time for you to play

Duloc's fastest growing

date show sensation,

This is Your Wife!

Yay!

Now let's meet today's

eligible bachelorettes!

Bachelorette number one

is a mentally abused shut-in

from a kingdom far, far away.

She likes sushi

and hot-tubbing anytime!

Her hobbies include cooking and cleaning

for her two evil step-sisters!

- Please welcome Cinderella!

- I love the broom. Yeah.

Bachelorette number

two is a cape-wearing girl

from the land of fancy.

She may live with seven other men,

but she's not easy!

Just kiss her dead, frozen lips

and find out what a live wire she is!

- Come on, give it up for Snow White!

- She's in Tupperware.

Bachelorette number

three lives in a dragon-guarded castle,

surrounded by hot boiling lava!

- But don't let that cool you off.

She likes pia coladas

and getting caught in the rain.

Yours for the rescuing,

Princess Fiona!

So will it be

bachelorette number one...

- I don't know!

- ... bachelorette number two,

- or bachelorette number three?

- They're all so nice. I don't know.

Boys, what do you say?

One, two, three, one, three, one?

One, three, two, three...

There's no four. All right, all right.

Bachelorette number three!

Hm?

Lord Farquaad,

you've chosen Princess Fiona!

Princess Fiona. She's perfect.

Except for that dragon and lava thing.

I'll have to find someone else to go.

You know, I should probably mention

this little thing about the princess

- that happens at night.

- I will make Fiona my queen,

and Duloc will finally

have the perfect king!

- Yes, but after sunset...

- Silence, silence.

Captain, round up your men,

summon the citizens!

Thelonius, tell the royal coiffeur

I'll need my hair pressed!

We're going to get a queen!

But-But... But you didn't even look

at my special features!

Check this out. I've got extras!

Fiona's Portrait Gallery,

The Story of the Curse, Deleted Scenes.

Wanna know more?

Just click on "Backstory"

and you'll get to see the princess

when she was seven years old.

Seven years old,

seven years old...

Settle in, girls, it's story time.

"There's a princess in a tower"

Oh, my gosh, that's just like me

"Poor Rapunzel, needs a haircut

But the witch won't set her free

She passes time by singing"

Like someone else I know

"As years go by she sits and waits"

As years go by? Uh-oh

"A torturous existence"

I don't remember this pan'

"She wishes she were dead"

Skip ahead, skip ahead

"But in the end Rapunzel

finds a millionaire

The prince is good at climbing

And braiding golden hair"

So I know he'll appear

'Cause there are rules

Rate this script:3.9 / 18 votes