Shrek the Musical Page #6

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and there are strictures

I believe the storybooks I read

by candlelight

My white knight and his steed

Will look just like these pictures

It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number 23

I know it's today

Here's a good one,

it's a classic.

"There's a princess in a coma"

Glad it's her instead of me

"Pretty maiden in a glass box"

How, I wonder, does she pee?

Blah, blah, blah, "poison apple"

Boring, boring "evil queen"

Filler, filler, been there, read that!

Seven shorties on the scene

Skip ahead, skip ahead

"But in the end the princess

wakes up with a start

The prince is good at kissing

And melting Snow White's heart"

So I know he'll appear

And his armor will be blinding

As shining as his perfect teeth

and manly hose

He'll propose on one knee

And our pre-nup will be binding

About time we set a wedding date

Day number 958

I know it's today

He'll show up today

There's a princess

Any princess

Take your pick,

they're all like me

Not exactly, I'm still waiting

They're out living happily

"Ever after" better get here

I want love in seconds flat

No one needs these middle bits

Whoops, did I do that?

Cut the villains, cut the vamping

Cut this fairy tale

Cut the peril and the pitfalls

Cut the puppet and the whale

Cut the monsters, cut the curses

Keep the intro, cut the verses

And the waiting, the waiting

the waiting, the waiting

The waiting!

But I know he'll appear

Though I seem a bit bipolar

And I'm a vandal now as well

Hope he won't mind

I'm a find, I'm a catch

And a very gifted bowler

It won't be long now, I guarantee

Day number...

Are you there, God?

It's me Fiona

Now I know he'll appear

'Cause there are rules

and there are strictures

I believe the storybooks I read

By candlelight

My white knight

My knight and his steed

Will look just like these pictures

It won't be long now, I guarantee

- Day number 23...

- Day number 958...

Day number 8,400

And 23

- I know it's today

- I know...

- I know it's today

- It's today

- I know it's today

- I know it's today

I know it's today

OK, OK, OK.

The rules are very simple.

Whoever spots a horse and cart

along the road...

- Punch buggy!

- Ow!

Fun, right?

No! What kind of

insane game is that?

- Haven't you ever been on a road trip?

- No.

Man, you need to get out more,

because... Punch buggy!

Ow!

I got you. I got you with that wagon

full of hay over there.

Donkey, if you do

that one more time...

See, that's another reason

why you need me around.

Who else is gonna fill you in

on all the fun stuff you missed out on?

You may not know it,

but you are one lucky ogre...

- Punch buggy!

- Ow!

- Mutton cart at three o'clock.

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