Shrek the Musical

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Once upon a time,

there was a little

ogre named Shrek...

...who lived with his parents

in a bog by a tree.

It was a pretty nasty place,

but he was happy

because ogres like nasty.

On his birthday, the little ogre's

parents sat him down to talk,

just as all ogre parents had

for hundreds of years before.

Listen, son

You're growing up so quickly

Growing up

Bigger by the day

Although we want you here

The rules are very clear

- Now you're seven

- Now you're seven

- So it's time to go away

- So it's time to go away

Your mama packed a sandwich

for your trip

Your papa packed your boots

in case of snow

- You're gonna make us proud

- You're gonna make us proud

- No backing up allowed

- No backing up allowed

- Just keep walking

- Just keep walking

- And you'll find

- And you'll find

- Somewhere to go

- Somewhere to go

- It's a big, bright, beautiful world

- It's a big, bright, beautiful world

- With happiness all around

- With happiness all around

- It's peaches and cream

- It's peaches and cream

- And every dream comes true

- And every dream comes true

- But not for you

- But not for you

- It's a big, bright, beautiful world

- It's a big, bright, beautiful world

- With possibilities everywhere

- With possibilities everywhere

- And just around the bend

- And just around the bend

- There's a friend or two

- There's a friend or two

- But not for you

- But not for you

We're ugly, son

Which means that life is harder

No, no, no!

People hate the things

They cannot understand

And when they look at us

They tend to make a fuss

Burn our houses down

And chase us

- Off our land

- Off our land

It's important

that you find a cozy cesspit

A place no one

would ever dare to tread

And if they happen by

Make sure you terrify them

- If you don't, son

- If you don't, son

- Then you'll surely wind up dead

- Then you'll surely wind up dead

- Goodbye!

- Goodbye!

Watch out for men with pitchforks!

And so,

the little ogre went on his merry way.

And wherever he went,

crowds would welcome him

with festive torches and hatchets

and fun things like that.

But whenever the little ogre

tried to join in the fun...

...his new friends would suddenly

realize they had other things to do.

So the ogre did

what his parents had told him to.

He found a perfectly rancid swamp,

and there he stayed for many years,

all alone,

but very happy with how his life

had turned out.

Oh, come on. Not again. Aw...

Keep your big, bright,

beautiful world

I'm happy where I am, all alone

I've got all I need

So read the stinkin' sign!

Ow!

Keep your big, bright,

beautiful world

I party on my own anyway

Doin' what I can

with a one-man conga-line

Yeah, your big, bright

beautiful world

Is all teddy bears and unicorns

Take your fluffy fun

and shove it where the sun don't shine!

I prefer a life like this

It's not that complicated

Sure, I'm fated to be lonely

and I'm destined to be hated

If you read the books

they say it's why I was created

But I don't care

'Cause being liked

Is grossly overrated

Who needs

a big, bright, beautiful world?

I've got my own little patch

of the world

It's not a big, bright

beautiful world

But it's mine

All alone, it's mine

And it's mine

Yeah!

All mine!

Right this way!

- Aw!

- Ooh!

- Don't mind the mud.

- You'll get used to it.

This is not appropriate for wood.

I'm gonna bail

if we're in here for too long.

You know what? This bog...

- This place is a dump!

- It's awful.

- Take deep breaths, brother.

- He has panic attacks.

- This little piggy needs some Paxil.

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