Sgt. Bilko Page #4

---

There was this busload of sweet geriatrics.|They went rolling down a mountain side...

Do you think I'm an idiot?

Ask Wally. He's new, a real straight arrow,|never told a lie in his life. Wally?

See?

Sweetheart, sweetheart...

Oh, baby... angel puff, you're overreacting!

- You know, it's... Ooh! Bad turnout.|- It was full an hour ago.

Oh, sweetie, I... I'm well!

Sweetie, what can I do|to make it up to you?

Whaddaya want? Just tell me.|I'll do anything.

I've been waiting for seven years.

What do I want? I want my seven years|back. I can't live like this, Ernie.

I've got a maid of honour|on call 24 hours a day.

And I'm the only woman with a wedding|dress that's falling apart from wear.

- I'm sorry.|- I think you love me, Ernie.

But you're so slippery, it's impossible|to know what you're thinking.

Well, thank you.

I don't understand|what you're so afraid of.

You know what I wanna do|right here, right now?

No. Don't.

No. No, not this time.

- Don't, please.|- One game, to 500.

Don't. Please don't.

Spade. It's a double.

Triple boxes, to 500. Penny a point.

- A four?|- Yes.

Oh, two. Yeah. Come on. Here. Go, go, go.

What's up?

Well, Rocky and I were talkin' to Wally|while you and Rita were in the church.

She's a nice girl.|We don't like the way you treat her.

He's right, Sarge.|You treat her like a rube.

- Wouldn't you be happier in the navy?|- You jilted that girl.

She'll probably have to|move to another town.

Will you relax? Rita and I|have a special relationship.

You think she expected me|to marry her today? Of course not.

She expected me to do|just what I did. It's a game.

Someday you might lose that game, Ernie.

Very good, men. Make sure it's tight.

- Tight?|- Whatever.

So, Major Ebersole,|tomorrow's the big day.

- How's she look?|- I hope it won't be too humiliating, sir.

What's supposed to happen?

Well, theoretically,|and I wouldn't bet the farm...

...the hovertank will lift off and hover|several inches above the pond.

- Good. Very good.|- Yeah. Then it will engage the targets...

...the... the cannon. Boom.|The ammunition dump. Kaboom.

That truck. Boom.

Excellent. One thought.|Maybe it should be: boom, boom...

...then kaboom.

You know, save that "kaboom" for the very|last? Kind of like a "hoo-ah" grand finale.

What do you think?

- I'll make a note of it, sir.|- Good.

- Missed me. Now run!|- Ow!

- Yeah. Gotcha.|- Hey, there goes the sarge, man.

Sarge!

- Hey, Dobie, come on, let's go.|- Sarge, you get married yet?

- Not yet.|- How did Rita take it this time?

Oh, she's happy. She took|40 bucks off me in a gin game.

Oh, she's great!

Paparelli. How's tickets goin' for the|"Meet Stormin' Norman" barbecue?

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes