Sgt. Bilko Page #3

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- What's it doing there?|- It keeps the flies off the food.

There's no way you can tell|what's wrong with an engine...

- Off the food?|- It's an experiment.

I'd say the results are mixed.

It's a lot cheaper than|sending out for it, sir.

And fresher too.

Bilko, are you mental?|This is not the horse cavalry.

- You can't bring livestock onto the post.|- You're right, sir.

You heard the colonel. Assemble horse|platoon and get the horse out of here!

- All right, double-time, soldier.|- Sergeant, please, tell me about my car.

- Do you know anything about cars, sir?|- No.

Ah. Well, you see that|sort of pointy thing right there?

It seems that it's impinging on the|browned, round thing with the spots.

- You see, when Henry Ford first...|- Colonel Hall.

- Corporal, what is it?|- Permission to speak privately?

- Of course. Excuse me, Bilko.|- Absolutely.

- What is it, Corporal?|- The Pentagon called.

The Pentagon?|How did they get my number?

They're sending a team|to observe tomorrow's hovertank test.

- Why? It's just a preliminary... Aah.|- What is it, sir?

Well, they're closing|a lot of military facilities lately.

What if they're planning|to close Fort Baxter?

- Do you know anything about this?|- You flatter me.

- How could I, a mere master sergeant...?|- You know everything before I do.

I'm sure it's just routine, sir.|Anyway, come back any time. Call first.

I tell you, men, serving under|a great leader like Colonel Hall...

- He's gone.|- I'm hungry. What time is it?

12 o'clock. We ordered Chinese.

- Pentagon brass, Sarge? I don't like it.|- Relax. It's just army stuff.

It's got nothing to do with us.

- Did you say 12 o'clock?|- Yeah.

- Today's Saturday?|- All day.

Saturday at noon. I have a strange feeling|I'm supposed to be somewhere.

Hmm.

I'll kill him.

- Poker game?|- No, no.

- Racetrack.|- No, no. It was something else.

My, that's a lovely dress.

- Thank you, Reverend.|- Is it new?

No, I wore it the last time|the lying sh*t-heel stood me up.

Ah.

Give me the ring.|You were the best man last time.

- He didn't get married last time!|- It's my turn!

- How you gonna be best man?|- Just give me the ring!

- But you can't hate him, you know?|- I can hate him. I hate him right now.

Sweetheart...

Where are you going? Nobody leave.

You came to see me get married. You're|going to - I don't particularly care who to.

Sweetheart! I know you're upset...

Daddy, stay out of this.|I know what I'm doing.

- Nelson.|- Huh?

Are you busy? Will you|marry me? I love you.

I just never realised it until now.

Well, the thing is, Rita,|I'm engaged... to your sister.

And?

Don't ask. Don't even ask.

OK, ask.

Bunny face,|you won't believe what happened.

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