Sex Ed Page #4

Hi. Uh, I'm Ed Cole.

I work at the school.

Pilar, Tito's sister.

Oh.

- Uh, this is my friend Ally.

- Hi.

Not my...

Not my girlfriend.

Oh. Okay.

- She's actually dating my best friend, so...

- I think she gets it, Eddie.

Right.

So...

How's it going?

Great. Good.

Yeah. Cool.

You come here often?

The school?

Yeah. Um... Yeah. I guess so.

I... I meet Tito

most days.

Oh, right. Yeah.

Um, we better get going,

right, Ed?

Yeah. We actually have plans

tonight, so we got to jet.

Yeah, we're going

to this really cool bar.

I don't know

if you wanna... chill.

Chill?

Yeah, like hang out.

Yeah, nobody says "chill. "

Tito, be nice

to your teacher.

Reggaeton ]

Let's roll.

That's our ride.

Yeah, I-I got

my ride over there.

Um, well, bye.

Yeah. Bye.

She was so scared 'cause no

one ever explained it to her.

Sex ed, man.

That's what these kids need.

Are you sure you're the best

person to be teaching sex ed?

You can teach sex ed

even if you're a virgin.

You might actually

be better at it.

- Whoa. Who said I was a virgin?

- Oh, I'm sorry.

For the record, Eddie is

definitely not a virgin.

He had, uh, crazy sex with a

Canadian girl one summer at camp.

Who is now a model

in Toronto.

Yeah.

Wow.

But maybe it is time

to get back out there.

- Dude, I liked this girl today.

- That did not go well.

- Why?

- It was really uncomfortable to watch.

Really uncomfortable.

Like watching that porno

with Screech.

What you need

is a rain dance.

I don't need a rain dance.

What's a rain dance?

he finds a girl who is less than

attractive and he has sex with her,

and then he paints

his face like an Indian...

You are in a dry spell. You

are in the Death f***ing Valley.

And once it rains, it pours.

So what you need to do...

is find a girl to end the dry

spell and get things pouring again.

No. That's

terrible advice.

Sometimes you got to get

your dick a little bit dirty.

I like having

a clean dick.

Well, unavailable men are

sometimes more attractive.

By unavailable, she means bros

who presently reek of p*ssy.

And even though you totally

lost your virginity at camp...

and everybody believes

you're not a virgin...

a rain dance

might be a good thing.

Jump-start things,

get things going again.

Yeah, but if I lower my

standards and date an ugly girl,

doesn't that kind of constrain

me to a particular ballpark?

Recall the woman to whom I

was laying pipe prior to Ally.

JT, I'm right here.

She looked like she lived

under a bridge. Yeah.

The girl I was railing

looked like a troll.

But I was getting laid.

And that, in some deep biological,

pheromonal, p*ssy-stank way,

attracted her to me.

So, why were you

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