Sex Drive Page #5

what you're going there for or...

Because it's really high elevation,

and you can see the stars really well...

Planets.

Wow! A little tip action there.

That's really suggestive.

I'm not saying that

you're gonna do that on my, well...

You can just stick with my finger

if you want 'cause this feels great, so...

You're really good at that.

That's really wet. Two...

(KNOCKING ON DOOR)

(POPPING)

-FELICIA:
Ian! Dude!

-I'm... Could you excuse me for a second?

Hello. Hello?

-Hey!

-Hey! What up?

-What are you doing in there, man?

-What're you doing out here, man?

-I asked you first.

-Nothing.

No, I just... I spilled beer on my shirt,

so then I had to...

-I thought you had, like, a girl in there.

-Yeah, right. I wish.

So, okay.

So, are your parents, like, still going

to Dylan's motor-cross thing this weekend?

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

They all take off in the morning.

Okay. Awesome.

'Cause my evil cousin is driving me nuts,

so, I don't know,

you think, like, maybe I could hang

at your place this weekend?

Yeah. Yeah, like a sleepover or something.

It'll be fun.

Oh, my God! Thank you so much.

Hey, I have a secret.

(LAUGHS)

-Okay.

-But it's like a girl secret, so...

-Can you handle it? Are you sure? Okay.

-Yeah.

Hey, Dibits, f*** off.

Okay, so I... Oh my God, this is so lame.

-Look at you acting like such a girl.

-I know, I know. Okay, okay. Here it is.

I have a crush on someone, a boy, a guy.

Yeah? Well, who is it?

Come on, you know me better than anyone.

I bet you know who it is.

Come on, guess.

Um...

I think I know.

(GASPING)

I'm kidding. Oh, God! I got you.

You're so easy. You're so easy!

-You're my best friend.

-I know, and you're my best friend.

That's why it's funny that we would kiss,

because we wouldn't.

So who is it? Who's the lucky caballero?

Um... Nobody.

-Nobody?

-I... I was kidding, too.

-That is funny.

-It's hilarious.

-That is so funny.

-That is so funny.

Oh! I...

-You got...

-Yeah.

-All right. So...

-Hey!

Okay.

Harsh.

(BUZZING)

(LINDSAY MOANING)

LINDSAY:
Well, come on, Ian.

(STUTTERING)

You know what? I'm good. I'm just gonna...

Ian, come on, baby. Don't be shy.

No, thanks. It looks like

you got your hands full there, so...

MAN:
Sure you don't want to

get in on this, bro?

No, thanks, man.

It looks like you fellows

got it all under control.

So I'm just gonna skedaddle.

You all take care now.

Lindsay, say hi to your mom.

(LINDSAY GASPING)

MAN:
All right. See you later, buddy.

Ian. Dude, where you going?

Sh*t.

(LINDSAY GASPING)

(CHUCKLES) Hey, Goldie, scoot over.

-Hey, babe, you wanna party?

-I'm at a party.

RANDY:
You should pee on us.

ANDY:
Why don't you take a picture, Ian?

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