Scenes Of A Sexual Nature Page #4

Synopsis: Various Londeners meet people in Hampstead Heath park. Financial adviser Billy, a successful casual sex seeker, discusses the pros, contras and how of his child-wish. Cheeky Noel innocent pick-up lines lead only to cruelty from girls, once even abandoned jeans on ankles. Gerry's promising blind date picnic ends as abruptly when his business partner turns up, who just agreed a Barbados holiday with his steady girl. Eddie discovers trough a date mix-up that Iris, his ripe age, who come to the same park weekly too but a day earlier, was his prospective mate until they each met their now late partners decades ago. Pete comes settle the end of a marriage that shouldn't have happened except for his daughter.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Ed Blum
Production: ThinkFilm
  1 nomination.
 
IMDB:
6.1
Rotten Tomatoes:
40%
R
Year:
2006
91 min
Website
411 Views


Seriously, eh?

You're f***ing with my ch'i.

Molly!

Oh, come on, Molly!

[INHALES DEEPLY]

My boyfriend just left me.

Where?

Here, just now. Ludo.

Ludo? What, as in the...?

As in boring, middle-aged twat.

Shut up.

[BOTH LAUGH]

Has anybody ever told you

that you have great eyes?

Oh, sorry. Are we in Stringfellows?

No, really, you do.

Make an effort.

No, you do. You have great eyes.

Which is lucky.

Lucky?

Yeah. Because they tend

to pull focus from your nose.

What's wrong with my nose?

Nothing's wrong with your nose.

You have a great nose.

You have a great f***in' nose.

Are you seriously trying to tell me

that I've got a big nose?

Not big.

Well, what, then?

What I'm sayin' is that it doesn't

matter what kind of nose you have,

because those eyes

will always overpower it.

Overpower?!

You happen to have a beautiful nose.

My point is that

those eyes are so good

that even if you had

a ridiculous nose it wouldn't matter,

which you don't.

But if you did, I wouldn't notice,

which I didn't until now.

And now I look, it's a great nose.

Yeah, it's great.

You have a great nose.

You've just got no idea

who you're dealing with.

I'm damaged.

We're all damaged, babe.

Who the f*** do you think you are?

Arriving out of nowhere, asking me

all sorts of personal questions,

when clearly

I'm upset about something,

which, incidentally,

has f*** all to do with you.

And then you sit here

next to me, you sit there...

Me, an attractive, single,

vulnerable woman.

You sit here next to me, and

tell me that I've got a beautiful nose.

You know, how f***ing dare you!

Yeah, I'm sorry.

What?

I'm sorry. Um...

I'm sorry that I complimented you.

It was very insensitive of me.

Yes, it was a crap line.

Oh.

Not a hint of originality.

Crap men are one thing,

but crap lines are unforgivable.

All right. Okay, okay.

The whole thing was a line.

All of this was a line, you know.

I saw you rowing with, er, Monopoly...

Ludo.

Yeah, with him. Okay? And I thought,

well, you know, she is very, very fit.

And l... And very, very vulnerable.

And I am very, very horny.

So, yeah, you're right.

I know I'm right.

Well, so, you are.

I know.

So, how did I do?

Sh*t.

Well, you can't blame me for trying.

You can't blame me

for telling you to f*** off.

No.

So, go on, then.

Well, erm...

You didn't scream.

You're right.

I am?

Let's do it.

Do it? What are you sayin'?

I'm saying I want to f*** you.

You're saying you wanna?

Yeah, I wanna f*** you.

You're saying that...

I wanna f*** you.

You need to stop sayin' that.

Yeah, because, erm,

now you're really confusing me.

I wasn't coming over here

to ask you if you wanted to fu...

Rate this script:5.0 / 2 votes

Aschlin Ditta

Aschlin Ditta (born 20 June 1968) is a British television and film writer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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