Scenes Of A Sexual Nature

Synopsis: Various Londeners meet people in Hampstead Heath park. Financial adviser Billy, a successful casual sex seeker, discusses the pros, contras and how of his child-wish. Cheeky Noel innocent pick-up lines lead only to cruelty from girls, once even abandoned jeans on ankles. Gerry's promising blind date picnic ends as abruptly when his business partner turns up, who just agreed a Barbados holiday with his steady girl. Eddie discovers trough a date mix-up that Iris, his ripe age, who come to the same park weekly too but a day earlier, was his prospective mate until they each met their now late partners decades ago. Pete comes settle the end of a marriage that shouldn't have happened except for his daughter.
Genre: Comedy, Drama, Romance
Director(s): Ed Blum
Production: ThinkFilm
  1 nomination.
Rotten Tomatoes:
91 min




Footballers! Fifty grand a week!

That's ten grand a day.

Well, it's a five-day week.

I mean, one game a week.

Two max.

And they only train till midday,

so that's like...

ten grand a working day.

So what gems does Little Miss Cosmo

have for you this week?

Well, I'm reading about something

called, erm, multiple orgasm.

Don't listen. They make that sh*t up.

Well, apparently not.


Well, multiple orgasms

stop when you get married.

Something to do

with church weddings.

The blessing takes care of all that.

In the eyes of God,

one climax per session is enough.

Well, if that were the case,

I'd go to church.

Multiple orgasms, really (!)

We make do with one at a time.

Do you see us complaining?


There you go.

'Cause you're asleep.



Well, Mandy from Oxford here

has at least ten orgasms a day.

I told you, they make it up.

So, by your maths that's what?

Fifty orgasms a week.

Unless she's on a Cup run.

Ow! Christ, I've just come.


Oh, and another!

Shut up! People will start staring.

It's Hampstead Heath. They think

you're weird if you're not having sex.

Ooh, and another.


Seven more and I could move in

with Mandy from Oxford.



Would you mind if I?

Oh, no, of course.

Do you come here often?

Is that the best you have?


Yes, I'm afraid it is, yes.


Oh, don't worry. I...

I shan't be asking you to dance.

I find this very comforting.

The view?


Ah, it's wonderful

to know that some things...

just stay.

Although I could do

without that bloody tower!


Oh, really? I love it.

I love it that for a while at least,

we had ambitions beyond concrete.


Do you ever wonder

what would have happened

if that chap in Pudding Lane

had noticed that fire starting

all those centuries ago,

and then just put it out?

I suppose the whole of London

would be wooden.


Yes, imagine the splinters.


By the way, I do.


Come here often.

Do you?

Every Wednesday, as a matter of fact.

To this very bench.

Well, I never.

Be careful who you ask next time.

Yes, I will.

Well, that is extraordinary.

It's just a habit.

How long

have you been coming here?

Oh. Oh, nearly 50 years.

That's a lot of Wednesdays.

Not as many as it might be.

I'm a strict observer of holidays.

Nice view?


Can you get all of that, or

would you like me to move for you?

What are you talking about, darling?


You are so pathetic.

Oh, good God!

Yeah, isn't he?

She should be careful.

In case some pervy man

were to stare at her pants?

Well, yeah.

Yeah. I saw you.

Saw me what?

Staring at her.

Staring at her pants.

That's ridiculous.

She's very beautiful.

Do you think?


Young, pert.

And what is it you

and your mates say?

About what?

Stomach like a snare drum.

We don't say that.


So what were you looking at, then?

'Cause I saw you.

Oh! Oh, that!

Oh, God, did you think I?

Oh, that's funny. No, it was...

It was her book.

Oh, right. Her book.



And what book would that be, then?

"Le... tranger".


Er, yeah.

You know it, do you?

Oh, it's seminal.

Albert Camus, unless I'm mistaken.

It is, yeah.

Made quite an impact on me

as a teenager.


Oh, Camus.


Yeah, that book, er, changed my life.

Oh, I noticed she was reading it,

and thought, "Well,

"you don't see it about that often."

So, what's it about, then?


Well, this book that changed

your life. What's it about?

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Aschlin Ditta

Aschlin Ditta (born 20 June 1968) is a British television and film writer. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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