Robin Williams - Live on Broadway Page #4

---

Mad white man dancing on the field!

Moving away.

Moving away.

In the World Cup they always

claim there's bad refereeing,

someone may have been paid off.

Oh, sh*t, say it ain't so!

You're telling me that the Oscars

are also political? F*** off!

There's a game mafia!

The mov-hand!

Fairy Godfather, "Does this

pistol make my ass look big"?

If you go to LA, there's a great

greeting these people do, "Love ya"!

"Love you"!

"Hey, love you"!

The worst refereeing was in the

Winter Olympics with the French judge.

Once again, the

French f*** with us!

The Canadians, they skate perfectly.

"We did it perfect, huh"!

And then the Russians

they come and f*** up

and the French judge went, "How lifelike,

they f***ed up, I give it to them, eh"?

At that point I'm going "Where is

Tanya Harding when you need her"?

Tanya would've been on that

judge like sh*t on Velcro.

"Give me that medal,

you French whore"!

"I won"!

Instead we get to see

Tanya fight Paula Jones

in an all white trash weekend.

Trailer park Tuesday!

Tanya went right for the nose,

"Not the nose, that's the Clinton money"!

Next is gonna be Joey Butafuoco

fights John Wayne Bobbit.

There will be no hitting

bellow the belt there, my friend.

"F***, man, give that back!

My balls are in the front row"!

What's next? "The Nixon daughters

battle for the library money".

"Be there as my b*tches go at it"!

At this point, even

Caligula is going,

"What the f***

are you people doing"?

Why don't you have

Hannibal Lector on Iron Chef

just kick out the jams?

Cause we've got The Chamber,

The Chair, Fear Factor.

People in Texas are going

"We got those shows".

"We just don't film'em".

Two weeks ago, the Supreme Court banned

the execution of retarded people.

People in Texas are going,

"Sh*t, where's the fun now"?

Cause they were zapping retarded

people every other week.

It was like, "Go sit on

Santa's lap, Timmy".

And I know the definition of

"retarded" in Texas is pretty wide.

It's crazy!

Even the Taliban is going

"You are crazy motherfuckers"!

There was a guy with one leg. They

weren't gonna give him a wodden leg.

He was gonna be dead man hopping.

There is a moment of compassion.

Before the lethal injection,

they do an alcohol swab,

which is so nice!

"What the f*** are you doing"?

"We don't want you to get

that last-second infection"!

"It's all safe now".

You remember the Winter Olympics.

They had them in Utah. Great place!

What, was Amish country booked,

what happened?

"Come on down to Salt Lake!

We're gonna party like it's 1955".

"Bring your wives. Oops!

Come on down"!

At the closing ceremony

they introduced

Donnie and Marie,

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes