Robin Williams - Live on Broadway

Synopsis: The fourth HBO stand-up special by Robin Williams.
Director(s): Marty Callner
  Nominated for 5 Primetime Emmys. Another 1 win & 4 nominations.
99 min

Ladies and gentlemen,

please welcome Robin Williams!

Thank you!

Oh, please!

Sit the f*** down!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Thank you!

Oh, yes!

Oh, yes, my little

semain headed friend!

That's it! Good night!

Thank you very much!

Thank you for the standing ovation,

you made the orgasm up front.

Let's have a cigarette, let's relax.

We're here in New York,

f***ing New York!


Obviously this is not gonna

be your normal night of theater!

This will be Shakespeare

with a strap-on!

So that's the way you like it!

Welcome to my lovely set which is

from the musical "Fantastic Voyage"!

Or maybe the last thing

a clitoris sees!

I'm over here!

I'm down here!

This is brought to you by HBO,

which is subsidiary of Time Warner,

also owned by

America On Line...

"You've got mail".

I hope you don't have stocks!


Don't be afraid!

It was so reassuring

the other day...

George W. Bush talked

to the stock market and...

It must be him

talking about business ethics

it's kinda like having

a leopard give you a facial.

It doesn't really work!

"A lot of our imports

come from other countries".

No sh*t?!

Moving right along...


Michael is protesting...

I don't know, baby...

It was strange enought when Michael

was the best man at Lisa's wedding.

That for me was like,

"You're pushing the term, my man"!

That was a pretty short list.

Was Richard Simmons hunting?

- "What are you doing"?

- "I'm the best man"!

Now Michael is claming rasism.

I'm going,

"Honey, you gotta pick a race first".

"What are you claiming,

mistreatment of elves"?

"Girl, you gotta pick a gender, too.

What are you going for"?

"You were Diana Ross.

Now you've just left it all behind".

Michael, you're not a freak.

You're just surgically enhanced...

And you spend more money

than the Vatican.

If you go to Neverland, it says

"You must be this

high to ride Michael".

Obviously, people and the lawyers

for HBO are going, "F***"!

But how f***ed up

do you have to be

for Al Sharpton to go,

"I'm outta here, man"!

If Al Sharpton bails on your ass,

even rats are going,

"Man, that guy's quick"!

"From the Don King School

of hair processing..."

He's running for

office in Idaho on the

"What a f***ing, wild, crazy chance

in hell you'll be elected" ticket.

Sorry, my lips just went,

"What the f*** did you say"?

Couple of dyslexic people went,

"Thank you, Robin"!

"Thank you"!

We were worried about

the pledge of allegiance.

We were gonna say

"One nation under dog"!

It's OK.

I know people are going

"I've got a cure for this"!

"One nation under Canada,

above Mexico".

But then you have to the whole...

There's anthems like

"Someone bless America"!

On the dollar bill, instead

of "In God We Trust",

"In Gates We Trust"!

"Mr. Gates, when did you realize

you are creating monopoly"?

"Monopoly is just a game, senator".

"I'm trying to control

the f***ing world".

Don't you see Windows Millenium?

It's all leading to

Information Technology.

Soon it will be Total

Information Technology, "TIT".

And when you're sucking on the tit,

I have you by the motherboard.

Don't be afraid!

It's a nice day

in New York, my people.

NY police have a catch and

release program. Way to go!

Stop! OK, go on again!

You're it!

Get the f*** outta here!

I like NY on a day like today. For a

while everything went like "are you OK"?.

People're back to being newyorkers

like "Have a nice day, a**hole"!

"F*** you, my friend!

Enjoy your day"!

But the most beautiful thing about

a day like today in this NY is

that the ladies

take the twins for a walk!

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Robin Williams

Robin McLaurin Williams was an American stand-up comedian and actor. Starting as a stand-up comedian in San Francisco and Los Angeles in the mid-1970s, he is credited with leading San Francisco's comedy renaissance. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Robin Williams - Live on Broadway" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Oct. 2021. <>.

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