Pigs Page #3
Aside from the obvious,
because chicks dig it, that's why
You're nuts
What do you need all
that extra padding down there for, anyways?
Oh, I forgot,
excessive masturbation
F*** off, Cleaver!
F*** off, Cleaver!
Miles, does he always
have to be here?
Miles, does he always
have to be here?
Look if you're so in f***in' love with him
why don't you move in?
Hey!
Cleaver:
F***, I'm just tryingto help the guyout, okay?
Fine, you tell him, because Chia-dick here
thinks it's still 1979
In his disturbed way,
Cleaver does have a point, Benny
I mean,
all the guys are trimming it up
Girls have been doing it forever
and now they expect the favour to be returned
Nah, you guys you guys
are just f***ing with me,
you want me you want me
to shave down there
so that you can tell all the guys
and they'll make fun of me
Something's gonna begin...
Cleaver:
Loose now, motherf***er!
Jesus!
Cleaver:
What?
My pouch, look how smooth it is,
It's nice, right?
It looks like raw turkey
Oh, it f***in' does
Ben:
You're sick!
Cleaver:
Oh, I'm sick
Okay, If a chick's going
to lick a ball sack,
do you think she's going
to like this
or your f***ing bird's nest?
Ben:
This is by far the gayestf***ing day of my life
Okay, it's not gay,
Benji, it's physics
Come on, Benny,
a confident hetero shouldn't be afraid
to whip out the old yam bag to prove a point
Does part of being a confident hetero
mean you have to sleep with
Uh, I'm just trying to help
you out F***
Oh my God, look at
the water spots all over my glass
You know, Michelle, if you
want to go somewhere else we can just
No, it's okay
I'm sure it's clean
It's spotty, but clean
Waiter:
Is this a better table?
Mmm
May I take your drink order?
Michelle?
I'll have a white wine spritzer
Oh, with Sprite, not soda
Sprite
A glass of your house red, please
Red wine?
That's so gross,
Michelle:
Of course
Miles, you go first,
Ah, okay Um
Yeah, I'll have
the Porterhouse, medium,
Great
You eat meat?
How can you do that
to those poor, furry little animals?
I ordered a steak, it's
cows aren't furry or little
What goes around
comes around
You may be reincarnated as a cow
With some big oaf
sticking a fork into you
And for the lady?
Oh, I'll have the tuna fillet
and your house salad
Oh, with the dressing on the side
Back with your drinks
Uh, I don't get it
You don't eat meat
but you ordered a tuna steak
I didn't order a tuna steak,
I ordered a tuna fillet
Okay, but, my point
Michelle:
And tuna's not meat
I have a very clear rule
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"Pigs" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 21 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/pigs_15886>.
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