Paranormal Movie Page #4

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We're already fans of Mel Gibson,

but we appreciate it.

Thanks for coming.

Hold on a minute.

Hold on, Larry. Hold on. Hold on.

These folks are

from the Mormon church.

The Mormon church, right?

That's right.

Yes, yes.

We are.

Well, that is wonderful.

Absolutely wonderful.

I want to hear all about it, all right?

Great.

Let's go down into the basement,

and we can talk down there.

I have so many questions.

Great.

Okay, let's go,

all right.

Hey, let me ask you something.

Do you know how to

get semen out of cat fur?

'Cause I have been

trying for the longest time.

You know...

And I used baby powder and detergent.

Where's our cat?

- Hi!

- Hi.

- I'm Dr. Lipschitz.

- Nice to meet you.

Good to meet you,

too, darling.

So, why we're here.

You think something paranormal

is occurring

within this residence.

Yes, there's been lots

of odd things happening,

with wall noises,

doors squeaking,

lights switching on and off,

d*ldos turning on...

Yes!

You certainly have some type

of presence here. Nice pink.

What will happen

to us, Doctor?

Well, the events you

have been describing

are going to slowly get worse.

Why?

Ghosts know formula.

Mmm-hmm. I mean,

for the first, like, 45 minutes,

they'll slam doors and whisper your name.

But then things will escalate,

and the last 10 minutes

should be quite compelling.

But, Doctor, why is this ghost

after us? What does it want?

Well, I believe Larry knows the answer to that.

Don't you, Larry?

Larry?

Well, it's true.

It all happened

when I was 15 years old.

I had an imaginary friend

named Toby,

and Toby and I would...

Oh, wait, wait, wait!

Oh, my God. If we're

going to have a flashback moment,

somebody else ought to

be behind the camera.

I mean, really,

where's the dramatic effect

with you on the wrong side

of the lens?

He's got a point.

I'm filled with points.

Well, yeah, this is...

This is better.

Um, okay.

It all started

when I was 14 years old.

My dad had just passed away

from alcohol poisoning.

He drank 144

non-alcoholic beers.

That's a gross.

That is gross.

No... Never mind.

My stepdad used to like

to videotape me at night.

He even went so far as to put

a video camera in my room.

I could never figure out why.

All right.

Let's have some dancing

Oh, yeah.

Oh, dance the night away!

Oh, get into it.

Go, Larry!

Yeah. All right.

It's bed time.

Why don't you put on your PJs?

Yeah.

These ones? Oh, no, no, no.

Not those. Not those.

Let's, uh,

put the training ones on.

Yeah.

This one?

Oh, yeah.

Oh, those are steamy.

Oh, you know, because

of the locomotives.

Because there's trains

on them.

I had an

imaginary friendnamed Toby.

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