Paranormal Movie Page #5

---

And at night we would play

different games together.

One hundred...

I taught him how to play

hide and seek.

Found you!

He taught me how to

get high smoking catnip.

Meow!

I showed him how to

give cool handshakes.

And he taught me how to

autoerotic asphyxiate.

My stepfather had set up

a camera in our living room

mounted to an oscillating fan.

Mostly for his own amusement.

You know, looking back at it,

I don't know why anyone

would want to document themselves

doing mountains of cocaine.

But, hey, that was my stepdad.

He had his ways.

It got worse two days later.

My stepdad came into my room

to play a game of catch

and next thing I know

I was being questioned by the police.

Apparently his brains and his hemorrhoids

exploded simultaneously.

He died instantly.

And, you know,

I just knew it had to be Toby.

I woke myself snoring.

Excuse me.

It sounds like

Larry was possessed.

Can you help us, Doctor?

I'm afraid I can't, Katie.

What I sensed when I walked in here

and what Larry has now just confirmed,

this is not a ghost

we're dealing with, honey.

This is a demon.

What's the difference?

Well, a ghost will sell you

crack on a street corner.

But a demon will wash

your crack and sell it back to you.

No, I'm sorry. That's

a drug dealer and a hooker.

This is terrible.

I know it is, Katie.

The jokes are stale,

the plot unoriginal,

but nothing

we can do about it, so...

I suggest we do what

Brendan Fraser does.

Take that money and run.

Maybe there's something we can do.

Should we move

out of the house?

No, I'm afraid that won't work either,

Larry, you see,

this demon is attached to you,

so if you leave this house,

it ain't gonna

make a difference.

I suggest you stay here.

Plus, save you a bundle

on below-the-line budget.

Mmm-hmm.

Well, I mean, should we try

to communicate with it?

I mean,

find out what it wants?

Hmm.

No, I don't recommend

that either. You see,

when you start to communicate

with this kind of creature,

you open the door for it

to come on in.

So we should just do nothing?

Mmm-hmm.

Yeah. Absolutely nothing.

We should do absolutely nothing.

And end the movie right here.

Wait! Wait! Wait! Wait!

Never mind. I got nothing.

No, wait, wait, wait.

There is an alternative.

Oh, yes. Here we are.

Okay.

Call him.

I don't know if he's any good,

but he is an expert.

I'll be outside

if you need me.

He took your dildo.

Yeah.

We should

call Jack Goff.

I can't believe

this is all happening.

Promise me you'll call

that expert tomorrow?

I don't know, Katie.

It's only 45 minutes into the movie.

Why don't we just wait

until things get a lot worse?

What am I going to do

Rate this script:0.0 / 0 votes