Paranormal Movie

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There we go,

make your momma proud.

Hey, Larry, let's go

play some catch.

Go throw the ball around.

Get your mitt.

Larry, get your mitt,

let's go throw some...

Let's go play some...

Jesus, Larry, you scared me.

Don't sneak up on me like that.

Where's your...

Larry!

Jesus, stop doing that.

You know I have a bad ticker.

Now, where's your baseball,

let's find your baseball.

Maybe it's under the...

How the hell did you

get under the bed?

Come on, Larry.

Let's find your mitt.

Where's your mitt? Let's stop horsing around here,

and let's go throw the ball.

Where is that glove?

I don't see... What?

Okay. Oh, my God.

I'm on to you. You crazy little f*cker.

Stop doing this

to me, Larry.

There's two of you.

I can't take any more.

I can't...

But I ran.

I ran so far away.

I couldn't get away.

How are you doing?

What are you doing?

Just driving around,

filming people.

How are you doing?

Stop.

Are you still here?

How are you doing?

How are you doing, man?

What's up?

How you doing, dude?

- You get paid for this?

- No. For fun.

Are you in high school or something?

No, 40 years old.

Where are you going?

You're acting weird

I'm not weird.

Hey, buddy!

What did you bench today?

What the hell are you doing?

Huh?

Get the...Get out of here.

Whoa.

Hey, Roger,

you wanted to see me?

Yeah, Larry.

You're fired.

Okay.

So...

How do you rate our date so far?

Do you film everything?

Well, I wanted to

capture our first kiss.

Oh! Uh...

Oh. Really? Okay.

Oh, Jesus. Okay.

You all right?

Oh, my God.

I'm meeting my girlfriend's

parents for the first time,

and I just took the

biggest dump of my life.

It won't flush.

It won't flush.

Honey, is

everything okay in there?

Huh?

Ooh.

Today's the day

my girlfriend moves in.

Hopefully she doesn't have

too many boxes.

Hi, honey! How are you?

Yes. Oh, God.

I think I lost the baby.

What?

I think I had a miscarriage.

Are you filming this?

Better.

Okay, so this is the house

i inherited from grandma.

Those lanterns at the front

were from Paris. Stole 'em.

You know,

if you come over here,

I talked to a lot

of sculptors,

and

I wanted to capture the moment that

i discovered masturbation.

That's a Playboy I'm reading,

and a lot of times

my dog, Rex,

would watch me masturbate.

It got so annoying that I'd have to climb

a tree just to get away from Rex,

because it made me creepy

that he'd watch me.

That is a desk

my grandma actually died at.

And we just kept it

the same way.

This couch was a find.

I had it in college.

Wiped the pee stains

out of it.

Oh, oh, these tusks are

an interesting story.

I was in Mexico and I was drunk

and I hit an animal I didn't really know

what it was,

but I cooked it up and ate it.

And I think look

pretty darn good.

Bitch getting that

through customs.

This is our dining room.

Oh, this is a nice,

interesting piece.

This piece represents the story of a small,

black child in the South,

a slave, making her way North to safety

in Harriet Tubman's Underground Railroad.

Interesting.

This is the kitchen,

where we do a lot of stuff.

Over here is the fridge,

the refrigerator.

This is where we do a lot

of our product placement.

And come over here. Oh, wait, go back.

And this is great.

This is an interesting thing.

Last night,

I cooked the best cheese sandwich of my life.

I put it right up on top there.

And the cheese

melted perfectly.

The best thing I've ever had

in my life. This, uh...

That's my pig.

There's a paper mache replica of my dog, Dog Byron.

Good guy.

And there's Cindy.

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