One, Two, Many Page #4

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then afterthat,

you don 't even pay

attention to otherwomen.

Oh, my God, you're

such a big guy.

Oh, Seamus!

Woman

Seamus, pick up the phone!

Hold on. Hello?

Yeah, Edgar.

Are yo kidding me, Edgar?

You're f***ing leaving me

fora cruise ship?

Look, l knowthatyou've

done me a ton offavors--

Motherfuckerjust

put me on hold.

What an a**hole.

F***.

Yeah, Edgar.

Look, l'm sorry,

but there's no way

l'd keep it available

foryo till yo get back.

Fine. Think Titanic. Bye.

God damn.

F***er.

You know, my wife tells

me you're a good actor.

Hey, thanks, man.

Great with the kids.

You know, l'm a producerfor

Vito and Valerie's wedding.

Really? Get ot ofhere.

l'm a big

fan ofthat show.

A big fan.

Yeah, right. Anyway...

What would you think about,

just fora little while, now,

taking overthe part

ofDanny, the best man?

l would love to

Doesn't mean

you're not gonna pay me

forthe party, does it?

No, man, l'll still pay.

Butyou gotta know,

Vito and Valerie's

is one weird place to be.

What cold be

weirderthan this?

Vito, you can

forget about it

because l'm not

marrying you.

Butwe're already married.

Well, nowwe're

officially unmarried.

Nowwhatwe'd like you

to do is talk to

some ofthe actors

who are going to be main

characters in the show.

Jillian plays Valerie.

Paul plays Vito.

Edgar, who you are

replacing as Danny,

and his showgirl

friend Natalie,

played by Danielle. okay?

Okay. Great.

Look, it's all about reality.

Acting is about reality.

Yeah, l know, l'm an actor.

l don't know

what you heard before,

but acting is about reality.

Yeah, dude, l know,

l'm an actor.

l took acting lessons

foryears.

You gotta be real.

You have to be real,

do you understand?

The moments,

they need to be real.

You'll be great.

That's what acting is.

lt's based in...

Reality.

lt's about reality, isn't it?

Okay, Valerie is

the star ofthe show .

Danny is not the star

of the show, okay?

Danny's the best man.

Now, Valerie and Danny,

they don't get along.

Danny does bestwhen he

stays out ofValerie's way.

Okay.

Danny deals drugs,

sells stolen carstereos,

but best of all,

Danny gets to f*** around.

What do you mean?

Well, yo know, gets to

flirt with the audience,

talk about his

sexual escapades.

ln fact, Danny tells 'em

one time he banged

this blond bimbo

on the pooltable

at Mr. Angelino's club.

Wow .

Yeah, shoved a pool cue

straight up herass.

Think...pig.

The sell is good.

Danny and Natalie

have the best relationship.

The most important

thing to remember

is that we are really in love.

We believe that

we have one ofthe best

and most wonderful

relationships in the show.

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