One, Two, Many Page #3

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in yorwhole life

to have three

great friends.

And that's

in yorwhole life.

l only got one.

Moms don't count, Ern.

No, l'm serious, Joey.

l mean, you need

to find kids

that share yor

interests, you know?

Kids that you have

something in common with.

That's where you'll

find a real friend.

Thanks, Dr. F***in' Phil.

bedsprings squeaking, moaning

Ah, come on, guys.

Jeez, l'm trying

to sleep here.

Man

Move to the right.

moaning

Even l can't

last that long!

telephone rings

Hang on,

l'll be right there.

rings

Don't hang up.

Hello?

Thomas.

Hey, Johnny, what's up?

Hey, dude, l got

some sh*t going on.

Yeah.

Fill in forme today.

Sh*t. Again?

Come on , Johnny.

lt's Saturday.

l know, l know.

Why can'tyou do it?

l gota commercial.

You gota commercial?

Yeah, national.

National?

Guinness.

Guinness?

Oh, yo lucky bastard.

So then

why are you crying?

My girljust left my, bro.

You're crying because

yourgirl left yo ?

Are yo kidding me?

No, dude.

l'd trade a chick

fora national commercial

any day of the week.

Come on , there's

a million other

chicks out there.

l don't think

l can live without her.

Oh, give me a break.

Jesus Christ, Ken!

What are you doing?

Sorry, l need movie time.

Haven't yo ever

heard ofMoviefone?

Oh, God!

Oh!

What was that?

Nothing. Ken's on

a sexual rampage again.

l should go gay.

l'd get more ass that way.

Come on , bro.

All right, l'll do it,

but yo owe me.

funny voice

Hey, kids, how ya doin'?

Come on over.

kids

Yay!

How's everybody doin'?

kids

Good!

What's the difference

between snotand spinach?

kids

What?

Kids won't eat spinach.

kids laugh

Hey, you guys

wanna see a trick?

kids

Yeah!

Well, l'm gonna

need an assistant.

Who should

l get over here?

Howabot the birthday

girl Shelby?

Shelby, l'm gonna

pick yo to volunteer.

Well, how can she

be a volunteer if

you're picking her?

Who are you, Judge Judy?

What am l supposed to do?

Why don'tyou come over

here and hold this hat?

Hey, get over here,

you varmints!

Shelby, give him

his nose back.

Get over here!

l'm gonna get ya!

Get over here!

You knowwhat,

you keep that one!

l'll take his!

Besides, his is

funnier looking.

Get over here!

Give me that nose!

kids shouting

Give me that face!

l only smoke when l drink

l only drink when l breathe

They're some great kids, man.

Thanks.

l always wanted

to be a dad some day.

burps

ls it hard?

No, man, being

a good dad's easy.

lt's being

that good husband thing

that gets a little tricky.

l know, right?

lt's hard being

faithful, isn't it?

Well--

telephone rings

Nah, you know what?

lf you're really in love,

you find the right girl,

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