Nativity Page #3

(Horn sounds)

- Gabriel comes in on a death slide.

- (Paul) What's a death slide?

One of those things. Duh-zzhoozh!

You go down with two hands...

l don't think health and safety will

involve the death slide in a nativity play.

- OK, what about a BMX with trick pegs?

- This is a Roman Catholic school.

We are not going to replace a donkey

with a trick-peg BMX. What is that?

- We can do it if we just work together.

- Sorry?

Like we're Webber and Rice, and Posh

and Becks. Jackie Chan and Bruce Lee.

You and me.

- l think maybe this one.

- No. The big one.

lt's not gonna fit, is it?

- l don't believe it! Paul Maddens!

- Gordon Shakespeare.

(American accent)

How are you doing, my man?

- Great to see you.

- And you.

- Where have you been?

- Five years at St Bernadette's now.

But you were gonna be the star,

the man!

- Was l? l never thought that.

- Yes! We all did and then it all went.

And now you're down the road?

How is it at St B's?

Goodness me, what a challenge!

Slowly, that dreadful school

is dragging itself up.

- How's Jennifer? Do you speak to her?

- Yeah, still quite good friends with her.

So, you still keep in touch with her?

Yeah, even though

she's Hollywood side, yeah.

- Didn't she do well?

- She's now a producer, you know?

l know. l mean, if you think l'm talented,

well, she's just gone to another level.

Way above me, and...and...

- ...clearly, you.

- Clearly, yeah.

lf you want to see

how the other half lives,

and just see where

it really happens in the right way,

come along to our Christmas bazaar.

- The talent they've got. Amazing.

- Yeah, l'm sure.

- lt's worth a little look. Come along.

- Thank you.

- What are you doing this year?

- l'm doing the nativity again.

- Perhaps l could come and see yours?

- Yes, you won't be alone if you do.

Because, actually, Jennifer's coming.

- She's coming over to the UK?

- Yeah, she's gonna come and see...

Why would she do that?

Because she's gonna bring

most of her agency over with her.

Hollywood...are coming

to St Bernadette's?

- To see your show?

- Yes.

- To film your show?

- Yeah.

- To make a film out of it?

- Yeah.

And a book.

(Hums a tune)

Come, come, come, come, come.

Come close. This is... Shh.

Come in, gather round.

l've got something to tell you, all right?

l'm not supposed to, but someone's

twisted my arm and l have to tell you.

l've just been to get the Christmas tree,

and l heard Mr Maddens say,

a big Hollywood

production film thing company

are coming here to see our nativity,

but it's not a nativity,

it's "Nativity The Musical",

in 3-D with 5-D sound,

and we're all going to be famous!

Yeah!

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