Nativity Page #4

Shh, shh, shh!

This is big stuff, all right?

Zack, l mean, you could end up being...

- Zac Efron.

- Yes!

And you...you could be Shrek!

- And you, Bob...

- What?

...you're like a little Gollum,

like a little creature in something!

So, we're going to be super famous

because Hollywood are coming!

Yeah!

- (Groans)

- (Dog whines)

Ow. Ow.

Ow!

Oh!

Aargh!

With me now

are the real stars of the film,

the pupils

of St Bernadette's School here.

- You must be very excited?

- Oh, very excited, aren't we, children?

Wait, wait.

We heard this morning that Hollywood

are coming to see our nativity play,

and we can hardly believe it.

Sit down, please. Sit, Cracker.

l am actually Mr Poppy and l am, er...

the co-director, co-writer, co-producer.

(TV volume off)

'...the true stars of a new Hollywood

blockbuster coming to town very soon.'

(He sees you when you're sleeping

(He knows when you're awake...

How you doing, Paul?

Now, you don't want to be late.

Quickly, you two.

Well done.

Congratulations, Mr Maddens.

There you are! Oh, goodness, at last.

- This is Darren from the newspaper.

- Nice to meet you.

Come on, we've got to go this way.

Yeah, they've been waiting.

l've told Darren everything l know

but l don't know much.

lt's wonderful that you're

back in touch with her again.

- There you are, that's it.

- (Cheering)

Thank you, thank you. Good morning,

boys and girls. Good morning, teachers.

Good morning. Good morning,

gentlemen of the press.

Ha-ha! And the local news team.

And, as you can see, children,

it's very, very exciting.

The whole of the town

is buzzing with the news

that St Bernadette's is going

to get a visitor from Hollywood.

- Three cheers for Mr Maddens! Hip, hip!

- Hurray!

- Hip, hip!

- Hurray!

- Hip, hip!

- Hooray!

Mrs Bevan, boys and girls...

l'm sorry, cos there's obviously

been some misunderstanding,

because yesterday

l said in front of Mr Poppy

that we were gonna have a...

a visit from Hollywood.

And l'm only sorry

cos it's not happening right now!

l didn't tell you.

l told Gordon Shakespeare!

lt wasn't even for your ears!

Do you understand me? You were

eavesdropping on a conversation.

- lt doesn't matter!

- Be quiet! lt's obviously a lie.

How are Hollywood

gonna come to the school?

lt's a lie! lt's not true! l made it up!

You have messed up, right?

lt's up to you to face your responsibility

and go out there and tell them it's a lie.

- (Door squeaks)

- Yeah!

Yeah!

All you've got to do

is call your girlfriend

and get the Hollywood people across.

One problem. She's not my girlfriend.

l don't know her number.

l don't know where she lives.

l was making all of that up yesterday.

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