Milf Page #4

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on your own time.

I wasn't doing

anything, man.

It's cool.

I rub one out

when you're asleep, too.

Oh, god.

Oh...

what happened last night?

You got drunk

and passed out.

That's what you did.

Who drove?

Uh...ross.

Yeah, he's the only one

who didn't drink.

Thank god, 'cause

we were all shithosed.

It was great.

Buddy, buddy.

Buddy...

you and me...

bright spot.

Grubbin'. My treat.

I'm hungry.

Sounds great.

Grubbin'.

Your treat?

Grubbin'.

I'm stoked.

grubbin'

I can't find it.

What?

My wallet

and my phone, dude.

I feel naked

without it.

Well, i don't have mine,

either.

Dude, we have to go

to my mom's house.

What? We don't need

to do that. Why?

I think i left it there

when i was wasted, man.

I looked

everywhere else.

We can just go back

to the room, man.

I'll grab my wallet.

It's much easier

if we just do that.

No, f*** that.

I need my wallet

and my phone.

Don't think i forgot

about our deal, man.

Buying you breakfast

is just the start.

Besides, even if my mom

doesn't have my wallet,

She always has

a nice spread.

What? Wha--

Food, guy. Breakfast.

You know my mom, man.

She always has

the ripest melons,

Sticky buns.

It's amazing.

She always brings it.

Fine, but just

find it quick, please.

I forgot about how much

of a b*tch you turn into

When youre hungry.

Oh! Hi, Brandon.

Hi, Mrs. Reese.

Holly.

You've seen me naked.

You can call me holly.

No, i didn't--

Yes, you did.

Right. Yes, ma'am.

There's nothing wrong

with that.

I know. I know that.

I, uh...

i was--

I should go--

I'm just waiting

for Anthony--

So...okay.

You know, maybe i--

I'm gonna get going.

That was wrong.

That was nice.

Right. That was nice.

I just got divorced,

And my hormones

are all over the place.

I'm probably not

very stable right now.

Right. I understand.

I'm not crazy.

No, no. I didn't

even think that.

Do you have a phone?

Uh, yeah, yeah.

You need

to make a call?

Should i--

I got it.

Okay.

That's called

sexting, right?

Oh, hey, mom.

Did you get

your rocks off yet

From a cooter

'cause you're gay now?

What is wrong with you?

Sorry, mom.

Wouldn't want to disturb you

from flicking your bead.

Hey, got the keys.

Let's roll.

I'm sorry, man.

It's just...

i still can't

get over it, man.

It's not normal, right?

I mean,

she was sitting there

Just ready to take it

with a whip.

That is weird.

Am i right?

You know

what Im saying?

Are you having

a seizure? What?

Stop being such a dick

to your mom.

Dude, easy, all right?

She was totally lezzing

with your mom, so--

Dude, they're just, you know,

confused or something.

It's the divorce

and everything.

Listen, dr. Phil,

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