Mad Families Page #3

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He's gotta dress correct.

He's a District Attorney now.

And he's working his way up.

He might be Mayor one day.

Ah, I don't know

about Mayor, Pop.

And, this weekend, we have

a fine young woman with us.

Shantaysia.

- Who's Shantaysia?

- Listen, son.

Beautiful woman like that on your

side, no telling how far you can go.

From DA to Mayor.

Commander-in-chief.

You smell that?

There's romance in the air.

Y'all smell these potties? Damn!

- I smell something.

But I didn't wanna say nothing,

'cause I kinda thought it was...

Sorry, Daddy.

Is that Justin Bieber?

Is that guy naked?

- You wish.

Is that dumpster on fire?

Oh, my gosh.

Is that Charles Bronson?

What's in the bottle?

Communion.

- So you're some creepy drunk priest?

I am not a priest.

Listen. Why don't you help Franklin...

- No!

Set some things up?

- I've gotta go till some soil.

- Pop!

Shantay... Sharon?

- Shantaysia.

- Damn, they still doing that?

That's f***ed up. Here.

"Shantaysia."

Come on, what the hell

kind of disease... Shantaysia.

Hey, bro, what are you doing?

You sleeping in your car?

Until Denali makes a tent.

Bro, you is not a real camper.

Huh? You can't fool me.

You might be able to fool Pops,

but you can't fool me, brother.

You're right.

I don't wanna fool you.

- Since I've known you...

- Ah, snake!

Snake! Snake on your shoulder!

Snake on your shoulder!

Is it invisible?

I don't see nothing!

Where is it?

- Ron Ron, I'm just...

Ron Ron, I'm just messing with you.

I'm just messing with you!

I'm just messing with you, dawg.

I just... I just... What?

I just, what, fooled you.

Get those flying bastards!

Chuckie, don't say "bastard."

- What about b*tch?

- Yeah, that's not...

- Ass Slurpee?

- No. That... No.

- Ass waffle!

- Not great.

- B*tch taco?

- Don't love it.

- Sh*t Slurpee?

- No.

- Crap-talker.

- I don't... No.

- Ass-butch?

- Don't... Not a fan.

- You love tit chicken. Tell me that.

- No, I don't love that.

- I kinda like that.

- I don't love the word "tit."

- Come on now. Dick dog?

- Definitely not "dick."

- Ass lick?

- No.

- Slurpee?

- No.

- Sh*t Slurpee!

- No.

- What else you got?

- Bastards!

You know what, bastard's fine.

- It's... It's passable.

- Yeah.

Hey, everybody, look!

I made Ocho into a turtle dog!

It's the fifth Ninja Turtle,

Taco Bello.

Ha, ha, ha, yeah. It's totally funny,

man. Now take it off.

- I can't.

- It's super-glued.

Is that Tejano?

Now this is what

I'm talking about.

Jazz on the stereo, cozy fire.

Dad, look, no offense,

but this old-ass music make me wanna

put a gun to my head and shoot it!

Give me a sec.

- I'm gonna go get a gun.

- Ha! Good one, Pop.

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