Little Bitches Page #4

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Marisa, could I get

a lorazepam, or an ativan,

or even, like, a Tylenol pm?

I just feel really nervous.

I wanna, but, uh, after I

gave something to that freshman,

his mom put him in rehab.

Thinks he's a drug addict.

You kind of did him a favor,

though, 'cause rehab's cool now.

I mean, I wanna go to rehab.

It would give me street cred.

What would you go for?

Not alcohol. That's f***ed up.

Drugs.

Here's my star.

There she is.

So which university's orchestra

is the lucky winner?

We're dying to know.

Do we know?

Hey, Mr. Warner.

No, we don't know yet.

Because me, Marisa,

and Kelly are waiting

for a special moment

to open our letters.

Um, we decided freshman year

after I almost had to

suck off a banana that

we'd all do it together.

It's a big thing.

But that was before Kelly was

Xena:
c*nt warrior Princess

though.

Okay.

Let's not...

Stupid b*tch.

Well, let's not go...

Jeez, you know?

So where are you girls

going to college?

You've got such vast skills.

Mr. Warner,

do you happen to know

where the party is tonight?

Well, I'm afraid

I can't help you there.

But I have been listening

to some of the kids.

And I did hear, um,

"don't forget to vote."

So not really

sure what that means.

Wow, okay.

Thank you.

I do remember this night

well though.

What you're doing

is you're wondering:

"Is Rebecca Franklin still gonna

want to make out with you

despite the fact

that you puked on her arm

and you scraped up your knee

on the concrete pretty good.

But, no, no, she's off.

She's chasing Trent Richland

with the rest of the girls

and the boys."

Who's Trent Richland?

This is f***ing ridiculous.

Stupid kids.

How'd they even get your

phone number?

From Facebook.

I put it up on Facebook.

Big mistake.

This is officer Richland.

Very funny, you little turd.

I can find you.

I can trace the...

Don't give them

the satisfaction, Trent.

I should've shaved.

F***ing went undercover.

Yeah, that would've helped.

These little shits.

Look at them all.

Oh, yep. Yep.

Sorry. Sorry.

Keep walking. Keep walking!

Sorry.

Idiots. I'm gonna f***

these kids up tonight.

I hope not.

I'm gonna f*** them up tonight.

I really hope you don't.

When you whisper,

it sounds more menacing.

Do me a favor, and stand down.

They're kids having fun at

the end of the year. You know?

You can turn

a blind eye to a party...

"Turn a blind eye," Joe Paterno?

See where that led him?

You see what happened to him?

You idiot.

You're the kind of guy

that thinks Jared from subway

actually just loves

submarine sandwiches.

No, he loved f***ing

little boys, okay?

There's something going on, pal.

So keep your

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