Keanu Page #4

Synopsis: Rell's life is changed forever when a cute kitten comes to his door, and he names it Keanu. Unfortunately, one weekend later, Keanu is abducted by persons unknown. Now Rell and his cousin, Clarence, are men on a mission to find Keanu against the odds. Unfortunately, those odds prove to be perilously high as they find Keanu in the care of the ruthless gangster, Cheddar, and he will only part with him for a price. Now for that cute kitten, these two middle class bumblers find themselves neck deep in a dangerous alien world of drugs and gang violence with only their desperate audacity, creativity and sheer dumb luck giving them a chance to survive.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Peter Atencio
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  5 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
63
Rotten Tomatoes:
78%
R
Year:
2016
100 min
Website
1,186 Views


Where did all these eels come from?

Oh, sh*t!

No, no, no.

No, no, no, no.

Hulka!

Who the f*** would want to

break into your house?

The Blips.

Man, the Blips.

The Blips?

These are the guys that were kicked out

of the Bloods and the Crips.

The Blips.

Blood-Crips, Blips.

I've started getting into

selling some heavier sh*t,

and when you're selling the heavier sh*t,

turf becomes a thing. You know?

And so, yeah. I mean,

the 17th Street Blips,

they did tell me, you know,

they gonna break in and "f*** my sh*t up."

But... I mean, that's not,

like, concrete proof.

The 17th Street Blips.

Okay, where are they?

17th Street.

Be specific!

Dude, look! I get you lost your kitty-cat,

but y'all some dumb fucks if

you think I'm gonna be a rat.

I ain't some punk-ass b*tch

who's gonna be intimidated by y'all nerds!

- You...

- Nerds...

Yeah, that's right! You a f***in' nerd!

- What you doing?

- What do you think I'm doing?

Oh, sh*t! You f***ing crazy?

No, not my De La!

Yeah, I got your De La now, b*tch.

Hulka? Is everything okay?

Mom, not now!

Bro, no.

Oh, you f***!

What's this?

No, no, no! Not Grandmaster.

Not Grandmaster, please!

Tell me!

Okay, okay! Dude's at a strip club

called Hot Party Vixens.

Okay? But this dude, their leader,

his name is Cheddar,

and he is a bad motherf***er.

You don't wanna mess with him.

Dude, you lost your cat.

You lost your cat.

Come on, Rell.

We'll figure something out in the morning.

It's not over.

All right, this is the place.

Hot Party Vixens.

HPV.

That's unfortunate.

Check it. We're going to approach the bar.

Then we are going to

explain the situation.

- No, no, no.

- Yeah.

See, you're talking about

explaining the situation.

Hulka said this is a crazy

drug dealer named Cheddar.

So?

What's so scary about "Cheddar"?

Cheddar is a psychopath name.

You only name yourself

something adorable if you can back it up.

- I don't think that's a thing.

- That's a thing.

If you meet a guy named

Fluffy Pink Bunny Head,

he will stab you in the eye.

I'm sure that this Cheddar guy

is gonna be reasonable about money.

And, if need be,

we will just buy Keanu back.

No, no. Not like that. Come on, just...

What, this?

- Yeah, pop the collar.

- Uh...

- Okay?

- Yeah.

It's what the kids are doing.

Not really.

But okay.

- Ready?

- Yeah.

Wow!

God gave you one face.

Why would you change it?

Nope, Clarence.

I just don't understand that at all.

- No, no, no.

- No, what?

No, this was a bad idea.

Isn't your cat here?

We need to get the cat.

- Hey, baby.

- Hello, how do you do?

Oh, dear. Okay.

I'm, uh...

I'm flattered. Thank you.

But I am married.

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Jordan Peele

Jordan Haworth Peele (born February 21, 1979)[2] is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Keanu" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 15 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/keanu_11645>.

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