Keanu

Synopsis: Rell's life is changed forever when a cute kitten comes to his door, and he names it Keanu. Unfortunately, one weekend later, Keanu is abducted by persons unknown. Now Rell and his cousin, Clarence, are men on a mission to find Keanu against the odds. Unfortunately, those odds prove to be perilously high as they find Keanu in the care of the ruthless gangster, Cheddar, and he will only part with him for a price. Now for that cute kitten, these two middle class bumblers find themselves neck deep in a dangerous alien world of drugs and gang violence with only their desperate audacity, creativity and sheer dumb luck giving them a chance to survive.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Peter Atencio
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  5 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
63
Rotten Tomatoes:
78%
R
Year:
2016
100 min
Website
753 Views


1

Los Phantomas.

Oh!

Juan?

Luis?

Pablo!

Oh...

No, no, no, please!

No, no, no!

Look, there's money. Look at

all the drugs around you, man.

We could do business. We'll get you rich!

What are you doing? No.

Stop doing that. No, what are you...

No, no. Look, you got

all this money around, man.

No, no...

He's my kitten, Iglesias.

Please, please.

No, don't hurt him. Please.

No, no, no.

That's my baby, Iglesias. No, no.

He's a kitten, you know.

Everybody likes baby kittens.

Right?

You know, it's not so bad, yeah.

Please, no. Look, I'll go away.

I'll go away, please!

Please, no!

Freeze! Police!

Drop your weapon now!

Show me your hands now!

On the ground. Get on the ground!

Get on the ground now!

Call Rell.

Calling Rell.

Hey, cuz!

Oh, my gosh. You're alive, man.

How are you? How you doing?

Nothing makes sense anymore.

Are you okay?

Maisie broke up with me.

Yes! Finally.

Oh, buddy, I'm sorry.

What happened? Why?

I don't know.

She said my life wasn't going anywhere.

I mean, what the f*** does that even mean?

Hey, you know what?

I'm gonna swing by right now.

No!

Clarence, I don't want you

to see me like this.

I look like Apollo Creed.

Which Rocky?

The one where he died.

Oh, boy. Okay. All right.

Hang on, I'm gonna be right there, okay?

Okay.

Oh!

Can I help you?

Hey.

Hey.

Here you go.

Go ahead. Drink some.

It's just milk.

I swear, look.

There.

You just drank it 'cause I drank it.

Oh, you're so hungry.

What?

Okay.

No, no, no, you need a bath.

All right, just stay there.

All right, we're gonna have to walk.

Rell, it's gonna be okay.

Now, I know you don't want to

hear this right now,

but everything happens for a reason.

You're right, Clarence.

Everything does happen for a reason.

I want you to meet

Keanu.

What?

No.

No.

Oh, my God!

That's the cutest cat

I've ever seen in my life.

Hello! I'm sorry, Keanu?

- Yeah.

- Okay.

I think it means "cool breeze"

in Hawaiian.

Honey, I'm sorry

I can't come with you guys this weekend.

It's just I've got all that

stuff to do around the house.

I understand, honey. It's fine.

I got the low-flow toilet to put in.

I just want you to do me

a little favor this weekend.

- Yeah.

- I want you to try and relax.

Right. Got it. Absolutely.

What do you mean?

Well, sometimes you can be

a little wound up.

Wound up? How am I wound up?

You're not hearing me.

You're not hearing me.

You spend so much time

trying to be the person

- you think everyone wants you to be.

- Okay.

And I just want you to be Clarence.

Okay, great.

If that's what you want, then...

- But, see, that's what I'm saying.

- No, no, no.

I mean, that's what I want,

so that's what I'm gonna do.

Deep breath. Ready?

Just...

Ah!

Loosen up your shoulders.

And what's crack-a-lacking,

beautiful people?

Hey, Spencer.

Hannah. A vision, as always.

Oh, thank you.

- Give me that.

- Okay.

- Clarence. Give me some skin.

- Spencer.

You got it, brother.

That's all the skin you get.

Where's Belle?

Oh, honey, let me get her for you. Belle!

- Them's some pipes.

- Right.

Our daughters just can't get

enough of each other, huh?

I'm tellin' ya. Girls, right?

Raising girls is the best.

- I tell ya, yeah.

- Yeah.

- Hey. Here we go.

- Thanks.

Hey, you know what?

Maybe when you get back,

we can see that new

Shailene Woodley movie, huh?

Clarence, you're embarrassing me.

- My bad.

- She got ya. She got ya.

- There we go. There.

- Let's do it, kids.

Get your seatbelt on, young ladies.

Okay. We got this.

Oh, honey.

Really got to go, guys.

All right, sweetheart.

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Jordan Peele

Jordan Haworth Peele (born February 21, 1979)[2] is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director. more…

All Jordan Peele scripts | Jordan Peele Scripts

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Keanu" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 6 Dec. 2021. <https://www.scripts.com/script/keanu_11645>.

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