Keanu Page #3

Synopsis: Rell's life is changed forever when a cute kitten comes to his door, and he names it Keanu. Unfortunately, one weekend later, Keanu is abducted by persons unknown. Now Rell and his cousin, Clarence, are men on a mission to find Keanu against the odds. Unfortunately, those odds prove to be perilously high as they find Keanu in the care of the ruthless gangster, Cheddar, and he will only part with him for a price. Now for that cute kitten, these two middle class bumblers find themselves neck deep in a dangerous alien world of drugs and gang violence with only their desperate audacity, creativity and sheer dumb luck giving them a chance to survive.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Peter Atencio
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  5 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
63
Rotten Tomatoes:
78%
R
Year:
2016
100 min
Website
1,180 Views


"Roll on, po-po" like that

after you just smiled

and waved to the police.

He ain't want none, did he?

Rell, what does that mean?

Oh, snap. Is it raining?

Well, it's LA. It'll stop in a minute.

So, what? You're so hardcore,

you're just, like,

afraid of a little rain?

Why is your door open?

Keanu.

Keanu!

Keanu!

Keanu!

Keanu!

Keanu!

Rell.

Rell!

I'm sorry.

No.

No!

I am so sorry, buddy.

No!

Listen, the cops are here now.

And they're gonna take care of it. Right.

They're professional.

They take this kind of stuff seriously.

Crimson Tide. Good one.

These are good. You take these?

- They're just pictures.

- Keep them.

Do you think there's any chance

you might find the guys who did this?

Hell no.

In most burglaries,

the guys are never caught.

Oh, um...

You know, there might be a chance.

I wish that I could be more help.

I'm sorry, but I'm gonna have

to take that blanket back.

Oh.

This sucks.

Are you sure he was stolen?

These guys don't usually take pets.

Usually they're after drugs

or something they can sell for drugs.

We'll keep an eye out for the cat.

Thank you very much.

Take care of each other.

See, now that's promising.

Maybe Keanu will come back,

or maybe he'll...

Rell?

Where are you going?

Hulka's house.

Who is Hulka?

My weed dealer.

What?

You live across the way

from your weed dealer?

Oh, sup, sup, bro?

Hey, Hulka. This is my cousin, Clarence.

- Hello.

- Sup?

All right, in or out.

Can't leave the door open,

you know what I'm sayin'?

And don't f*** up all this sh*t.

I'm building a motorcycle.

So, the reason I'm here...

- Okay, look...

- No.

This is the perfect

sativa-dominant hybrid strain.

It's called Spoonie Gee.

Great. This is all great.

I'm not here for any of that.

I'm here because my place got broken into.

Oh, sh*t, you serious?

Oh, man, that suck a thick donkey ball.

What'd they get?

They got Keanu.

- Oh, sh*t. The little guy?

- Yeah.

Oh, f***, man. I'm sorry, bro.

Okay. So...

Thank you.

I got an anti-sadness strain in here.

- It's called Walking on Sunshine.

- No, no. I don't care.

No, I'm not here for weed, man.

I'm here just to ask you

some questions. Like,

has anyone shady come by here

in the last couple of days?

Well, I mean... Well, um...

You know, I run

a professional business here.

I never had a dissatisfied customer.

I don't know,

it's a real f***ing quandary.

Maybe it's someone that

you're selling all of this marijuana to.

Yeah. Or maybe it was somebody who thought

they were breaking into your house?

Oh, yeah. Look, bro.

I be real with you, okay?

I'm so f***ing high right now.

I'm not even sure you're real.

I'm just like, where am I?

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Jordan Peele

Jordan Haworth Peele (born February 21, 1979)[2] is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Keanu" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 29 Apr. 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/keanu_11645>.

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