Keanu Page #5

Synopsis: Rell's life is changed forever when a cute kitten comes to his door, and he names it Keanu. Unfortunately, one weekend later, Keanu is abducted by persons unknown. Now Rell and his cousin, Clarence, are men on a mission to find Keanu against the odds. Unfortunately, those odds prove to be perilously high as they find Keanu in the care of the ruthless gangster, Cheddar, and he will only part with him for a price. Now for that cute kitten, these two middle class bumblers find themselves neck deep in a dangerous alien world of drugs and gang violence with only their desperate audacity, creativity and sheer dumb luck giving them a chance to survive.
Genre: Action, Comedy
Director(s): Peter Atencio
Production: Warner Bros. Pictures
  5 wins & 5 nominations.
 
IMDB:
6.3
Metacritic:
63
Rotten Tomatoes:
78%
R
Year:
2016
100 min
Website
1,197 Views


No.

- Thank you.

- Oh...

You just took my wedding ring.

No, no, no. We're here,

we're here, you're good.

One beer, please.

I'll take a white wine...

Sir, that young lady just took

my wedding ring,

- so I'm wondering...

- It's all right.

- No, no. Clarence, Clarence, Clarence!

- Yeah.

You can't talk like that here.

- Okay?

- I can't talk like what?

You sound like Richard Pryor

doing an impression of a white guy.

I do not sound like Richard Pryor

doing an impression of a white guy.

"I do not sound like Richard Pryor

"doing an impression of a white guy."

You sound like John Ritter all the time.

Well, I beg to differ, nigga.

N-word. Went straight to the N-word.

- Yeah. Yeah, I did.

- It's not authentic.

Because that's how

real people talk, Clarence.

No, it is not in my experience.

- It's not how people talk.

- Please, please, you're wrong.

You understand? People understand

the historical significance of that word,

and that you can't just say it

shiftlessly with no

responsibility whatsoever.

Absolutely wrong. 100% wrong.

Listen, this is life.

You listen to me. You don't shush me.

You niggas in the right place?

Yeah, we in the right place, nigga!

You in the right place, nigga?

Who the f*** are these niggas?

Who the f*** are we?

Who the f*** aren't we?

- Oh!

- Are you trying to die today?

Nah.

We ain't trying to die today.

Let me break it down right quick.

Y'all gonna take us to Cheddar,

and then we can start nailin'

down the hows and whens

and wherefores and...

Whys.

Did I not mention the whys?

The whys, too, motherf***er.

- Well, look here, homeboy.

- Yeah, dude.

You in Bliptown now,

and you don't make the rules.

Cheddar does.

And you don't meet Cheddar

until you meet me.

You feel me?

So who the f*** are you niggas?

Nigga...

Nigga, nigga...

- Psst. Tell her, man.

- Nigga...

I'm Techtonic.

- Nice!

- Thank you.

What about you?

My name is Shark Tank.

Well, look here,

Techtonic and Shark Tank.

Cheddar is a businessman.

He don't take drop-bys.

You think we don't mean business?

And swam.

Why don't you search 'em, Bud?

Go on ahead, Bud.

These niggas not strapped.

- Come on.

- Yeah, let's come on, then.

What's up, motherf***er?

What?

Chill. Hey, yo, Cheddar.

You'll get it next time, boss.

Hi-C.

The f*** is this?

I'm Techtonic.

Sup, Cheddar? Finally.

- He's Shark...

- The king pimp himself.

Shark Tank.

Yeah, I mean, we've been looking

forward to this, dawg. Ha-ha!

Talkin' about the H-N-I-C.

My man.

All right.

Yeah.

You know, I got a lot of enemies

that would love to walk in this room

and put a bullet hole in old Cheddar.

Hey!

We ain't got no beef with you, Cheddar.

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Jordan Peele

Jordan Haworth Peele (born February 21, 1979)[2] is an American actor, comedian, writer, producer, and director. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Keanu" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 4 Jun 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/keanu_11645>.

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