John Tucker Must Die Page #5

Now make me hate you!

Hate me! Yeah!

Oh, yeah!

Oh, you hate me!

Oh, you hate me,John!

Nice, nice, nice!

Now you're a tree,

It's windy,

Shake your branches!

- Big storm,John,

- It's good,

Big storm, Bigger,

bigger, bigger,

Now hate me,John,

Hate me,

Oh, you hate me,John!

It is so amazing that

you're into sculpture,

I mean, what are human beings

here for if not to, you know...

make... horses and stuff

out of clay?

Really? I'm so glad

you feel that way,

Totally,

Hey, isn't that you?

I do some part-time

male modeling,

- Really?

- Yeah,

I didn't know that,

-Can I have a sip?

- Yeah,

I know that guy!

Um...

What?! No, I...

I don't have that,

Holly... I-I-I

don't have that!

God, ooh,

Don't touch me,

- Don't touch me, Don't touch me,

- Holly, wait!

Holly!

That's him!

What? No, that's not real,

I only model

as a guy with herpes,

Goin' to the free clinic, Tuck?

Rule #1 in warfare;

Never underestimate

your opponent,

Oh, I love you, Tucker!

I don't personally suffer

from an STD...

but one in five young adults do,

And I am proud to give my voice

to the silent,

That's right, baby!

- Thanks!

Okay, it should've worked,

I mean,

are we missing something?

- I am, My social life,

- Hey!

Hey, Ms, Spencer,

''Lori,'' please,

So, what are you girls up to?

- Destroying a man,

- Ooh, who do I make my check out to?

He's totally indestructible,

We give him herpes,

they give him an award,

Fake herpes, Mom, N...

It was a whole reputation thing,

It's a long story,

Sure, Yeah, the old ''fake herpes,

reputation...'' thing,

You know, um...

I can unpack the groceries

if you've got... stuff,

I get it, All right,

Play nice, girls, Hmm,

Okay, your mom is so hot!

She does Yogalates,

Carrie, what are you

always typing on there?

Oh, lists...

normal stuff, same as everyone,

I have my ''To Do'' list,

my ''Goals'' list...

my ''Contingency'' list,

my ''Observations''...

my ''Notions,'' which, of course,

are very different...

because ''Observations'' require

a topic sentence...

and ''Notions'' do not,

Normal stuff,

Right, Normal,

Totally,

Well, at least

I'm not medicated,

Excuse me, This is an

all-natural beauty supplement,

What are you taking?

Estrogen? Heather!

They torture innocent

horses for this,

It's made from their pee,

Peeing isn't torture,

Menopause is,

I steal it from my mom,

Guys take steroids to get pecs,

I just wanna go up a cup size,

I don't think

it works like that,

It stops your natural

hormone production,

Yeah, and when you run out...

you're gonna grow

a mustache and a penis,

Are you serious?

Okay, you guys,

we've gotta get back toJohn,

Okay, What we need

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