John Tucker Must Die Page #4

Hey, honey!

I'm in a hurry,

I've got a...

big date tonight,

Drummer?

Doctor,

Well, veterinarian,

Technician,

- So you're dating a dog nurse,

You've...

got a friend at the door,

What?!

LORI:

Have fun, girls!

Kate, right?

Yeah, Kate,

I wanna bring down

you-know-who,

Normally I'm opposed to

the slaughter of animals...

but in John Tucker's case,

I'll make an exception,

I don't even know him,

So? You don't know anyone,

You're like the Swiss,

You're neutered,

Uh, it's neutral,

Kate, if the three of us...

tried this alone,

we would kill each other,

You brought us here,

You showed us that we have...

something in common,

Exactly,

We all wanna killJohn Tucker,

Wow,

Okay,

Learning Center?

Who knew this was here?

Look at him, struttin' his

stuff like he owns the place,

Well, he does,

For now,

This way,

Don't touch anything,

Wow,

You spend way too much time

in after-school programs,

Thank you,

Beth, can you get the lights?

It's the remote...

labeled ''lights,''

Okay, guys, Let's go,

Please try and pay attention,

and all cell phones off,

Kate... do your thing,

My thing? Oh, okay,

What... is it

that attracted you toJohn...?

Kate, I like where

you're going with this,

Okay, girls, we need

to defineJohn,

He's a statue

wrapped in a painting...

in a frame made of muscles,

But what makes him tick?

Is it that charm?

Is it that smile?

Is it that perfect tan?

What is it, girls?

Dig deep,

It's everything,

It's his eyes...

his lips,

his chest, the...

the way that,

when he holds you...

his whole body

kinda tightens...

Uh, we all know what happens

when boys get happy,

Not what I meant!

You guys,

save it forJohn, okay?

Look, back to the point,

We all agree he's hot,

So, what do we do?

Well, in cheer, we usually

tear down the other team...

by undermining their confidence,

makin' 'em feel lame,

I don't think

this is a case for...

''U-G-L-Y, you ain't

got no alibi,''

Shut up,

Heather, as much as I hate to

admit this... you have a point,

Right,

And-And sinceJohn's game is

that he always has a date...

to get even with a guy like that,

you make him... undatable,

Yes,

- Undatable,

A systematic destruction...

of all that is John Tucker,

Girls... I think

I have an idea,

I'm telling you, babe...

you could make your

looks work for you,

Don't you think, Robert?

You know, Robert

knows my mom...

and he shoots for

Vogue, Elle, GQ,

And of course he's done...

all my yearbook photos since

middle school on recycled paper,

Okay,John,

The trick is just relax...

and behave naturally, yeah?

Now pout for me,John! Pout!

More pouting, yeah!

Oh, yeah, I love you,

I love you,

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