Identity Thief Page #4

Synopsis: Sandy Patterson (Jason Bateman) gets a nice call confirming his name and other identifying information. The next thing he knows, a spa in Florida is reminding him of his appointment and his credit cards are maxed out. With his identity stolen, Sandy leaves his wife, kids and job to literally bring the thief to justice in Colorado. Keeping tabs on the other Sandy (Melissa McCarthy) and run-ins with bounty hunters is harder than he was expecting, and ultimately the cross-country trip is going to find both Sandys learning life tips from one another.
Genre: Comedy, Crime, Drama
Director(s): Seth Gordon
Production: Universal Pictures
  1 win & 9 nominations.
 
IMDB:
5.7
Metacritic:
35
Rotten Tomatoes:
19%
R
Year:
2013
111 min
$134,455,175
Website
4,168 Views


And that was this morning?

I just left the house.

Except for the gas station that I went to,

where my card got chopped in half

by an angry man in a glass box, okay?

So, first things first,

I need a fresh card in the mail.

And Loretta,

I need you on the stick to unscrew me.

This is clearly on your end. This is not me.

Or I'll fix it. Where's the surf shop?

Well, sir, it's in Winter Park, Florida.

Florida? I'm in Colorado, you know, so...

- Damn it.

- Excuse me?

Unbelievable. I gotta call you back.

- Driver.

- Sorry!

Pull the vehicle to the side of the road.

NCIC says 10-29F, use caution.

Step out of the vehicle, Mr. Patterson.

Okay, coming out of the vehicle

for hands-free?

That seems just a little bit excessive.

Mr. Patterson, you're under arrest.

Under arrest?

You have the right to remain silent.

Hey, wait a second.

Anything you say can and will be

used against you in a court of law.

The arresting officer

ran your license through the NCIC.

You were booked for felony assault

two weeks ago in Florida.

What? No, I wasn't.

What are you talking about?

- I've never even been to Florida.

- You've never been to Florida?

No, sir. This whole morning...

Well, hang on a second.

Was it Winter Park, Florida?

See, that's good.

We're dropping the whole

"there's been a mistake" thing.

I got it now. Listen...

The problem is, Mr. Patterson,

is that you missed your court date

three days ago in Florida.

Officer, let me just explain.

And the judge has

issued a warrant for your arrest.

- Yeah...

- So what we're gonna do

is we're gonna go ahead

and ship you back down to Florida.

You can work on your tan.

Sir. Yeah, listen. You're not listening.

- Sit down.

- Sorry.

There's a person that has my same name

that is doing things in Florida.

This guy is making salon appointments,

he's buying beach equipment.

He's maxing out my credit card.

Are you Sandy Bigelow Patterson,

born May 18th, 1974?

That is you, correct?

Yeah, but it's not me doing this stuff.

I've never even been to the state.

I'm here with you guys.

I'm in Colorado. How can I be in Florida?

Call Winter Park PD. Pull the mug shot.

Okay, uncuff him.

Uncuff me. That's great.

Can I see?

Whoa.

Is that a woman?

If I had to guess,

it's the woman that stole your identity,

obviously taking advantage

of the fact that you have a female name.

Oh, it's not female, it's unisex.

When you say "stole my identity,"

do you mean credit card fraud?

Oh, no, no, it's a lot worse than that.

What happens is,

they get a hold of your name,

your birthday, Social Security.

And then they run up debt,

get arrested, commit crimes as you.

What do you do now?

Rate this script:2.3 / 3 votes

Craig Mazin

Craig Mazin (born April 8, 1971) is an American screenwriter and film director. He is known for writing Identity Thief, The Hangover Part II, The Hangover Part III, and The Huntsman: Winter's War. He is currently working on a five-part miniseries for HBO and Sky based on the Chernobyl disaster. Mazin co-hosts the Scriptnotes podcast alongside fellow screenwriter John August. more…

All Craig Mazin scripts | Craig Mazin Scripts

1 fan

Submitted on August 05, 2018

Discuss this script with the community:

0 Comments

    Translation

    Translate and read this script in other languages:

    Select another language:

    • - Select -
    • 简体中文 (Chinese - Simplified)
    • 繁體中文 (Chinese - Traditional)
    • Español (Spanish)
    • Esperanto (Esperanto)
    • 日本語 (Japanese)
    • Português (Portuguese)
    • Deutsch (German)
    • العربية (Arabic)
    • Français (French)
    • Русский (Russian)
    • ಕನ್ನಡ (Kannada)
    • 한국어 (Korean)
    • עברית (Hebrew)
    • Gaeilge (Irish)
    • Українська (Ukrainian)
    • اردو (Urdu)
    • Magyar (Hungarian)
    • मानक हिन्दी (Hindi)
    • Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Italiano (Italian)
    • தமிழ் (Tamil)
    • Türkçe (Turkish)
    • తెలుగు (Telugu)
    • ภาษาไทย (Thai)
    • Tiếng Việt (Vietnamese)
    • Čeština (Czech)
    • Polski (Polish)
    • Bahasa Indonesia (Indonesian)
    • Românește (Romanian)
    • Nederlands (Dutch)
    • Ελληνικά (Greek)
    • Latinum (Latin)
    • Svenska (Swedish)
    • Dansk (Danish)
    • Suomi (Finnish)
    • فارسی (Persian)
    • ייִדיש (Yiddish)
    • հայերեն (Armenian)
    • Norsk (Norwegian)
    • English (English)

    Citation

    Use the citation below to add this screenplay to your bibliography:

    Style:MLAChicagoAPA

    "Identity Thief" Scripts.com. STANDS4 LLC, 2024. Web. 19 May 2024. <https://www.scripts.com/script/identity_thief_10602>.

    We need you!

    Help us build the largest writers community and scripts collection on the web!

    Watch the movie trailer

    Identity Thief

    Browse Scripts.com

    The Studio:

    ScreenWriting Tool

    Write your screenplay and focus on the story with many helpful features.