Hollywood Sex Wars Page #5

YOU A DRUG DEALER?

NO, I'M A SALES REP,

FOR, AMONG OTHER THINGS,

KELOCOTE.

IT'S AN OINTMEN THAT WOMEN USE

AFTER THEY GET BOOB JOBS.

IT HEALS THE SCAR TISSUE.

WAIT A MINUTE,

YOU GET PAID:

TO RUB CREAM:

ON WOMEN'S TITTIES, YO?

YEAH. I REALLY AM

A BOOB INSPECTOR.

OH, MY GOD.

COME ON IN, GUYS.

DAMN.

WHAT KIND OF BENEFITS

A JOB LIKE THAT GOT?

THAT'S TIGHT. HA.

AH, MAN, FLING, MAN,

THEY GOT SOME:

SWEET P*SSY ON HERE.

YEAH,

BUT THAT'S NOT THE DEAL.

WE COULD HAVE DONE

THIS OURSELVES.

NO, DUMBSHIT.

THESE ONLINE:

DATING SITES:

ARE A GREAT WAY:

TO LEARN:

ABOUT WOMEN:

AND THE GAMES:

THEY PLAY.

( water splashing )

( whistling )

HEY, GIRLS.

LOOK WHAT I GOT.

YAY, DRINKS!

OHH!

PUT SOME CLOTHES ON!

I HATE TAN LINES!

IT'S TOO NICE OUT HERE!

"DOGS ARE CONTROLLED

BY THEIR BASEST MOTIVES.

EAT, SLEEP, AND COPULATE."

DOES THAT SOUND FAMILIAR?

THEY EVEN CALL:

THEMSELVES DOGS.

IT'S SO PATHETIC.

THEY WOULD SPEND

THEIR WHOLE LIFE--

CAR, JOB, AND BEING--

JUST TRYING TO SQUIRT.

( laughing )

YEAH, BUT LOOK AT THIS SH*T.

"I LIKE CUDDLING,

SOFT KISSES, ANIMALS,

"WALKS ON THE BEACH,

DINING, A NICE MAN,

SINCERE, KIND"?

THIS SHI MAKES ME SICK.

WHY? SOME OF

THAT STUFF IS CUTE.

OKAY, WINETASTING.

THAT MEANS SHE LIKES

TO GET F***ED UP.

DINING. THAT MEANS

YOU TAKE HER:

OUT TO DINNER.

WHAT, VACATIONS?

YOU THINK SHE'S PAYING

FOR THESE VACATIONS?

DO YOU REMEMBER:

WHEN YOU WERE YOUNGER

AND YOU THOUGHT THAT IF YOU

WERE REALLY NICE TO A GUY

HE'D BE REALLY NICE BACK?

YES. OH, MY GOD,

I DID EVERYTHING FOR HIM.

I MEAN,

I REALLY TREATED HIM WELL.

HOW'D THAT WORK OU FOR YOU?

HE SLEPT WITH MY SISTER.

AND MY BEST FRIEND.

HEY, DUDE,

CHECK OUT THE FRIEND.

YEAH, DUDE,

SHE'S FINE.

Max:
YEAH, SHE IS BOMB.

BUT TAKE A CLOSE LOOK

AT ALL THESE PHOTOS.

DO YOU NOTICE ANYTHING?

A LOT OF THEM AREN' FULL BODY SHOTS.

RIGHT.

THEY'RE TAKEN FROM

HIGH ANGLES, TOO.

YEAH, LOTS OF THEM ARE

WEARING BABY DOLL DRESSES.

YEAH, LOOK AT THAT.

WHY DO WOMEN WEAR

BABY DOLL DRESSES?

BECAUSE IT HIDES

THEIR FAT ASSES.

SEE, ALL THESE PICTURES,

THEY'RE ALL TRYING

TO TRICK YOU IN SOME WAY.

THE PERSONAL AD IS A GREAT WAY

TO UNDERSTAND:

THE TRUE NATURE OF WOMEN.

YOU'RE BEGINNING

TO GET AN IDEA:

OF HOW DECEITFUL

THE AVERAGE GIRL IS.

WE DON'T CARE

ABOUT THE AVERAGE GIRLS.

I WANT YOU TO SEPARATE OU ALL THE HOTTIES,

AND THAT'S WHO WE NEED

TO FOCUS ON.

THE TRICK IS TO GET THEM

ALL EXCITED,

BUT IF YOU WAN TO SEE THEM AGAIN,

LEAVE THEM WANTING MORE.

REALLY?

OH, YEAH.

OKAY, THE NEXT TIME

YOU BRING A GUY HOME,

I WANT YOU TO GET OFF FOR HIM.

I MEAN, MAKE A HUGE SHOW.

PORN-STYLE.

OHH! YEAH!

SEXY!

THAT'S IT!

THANK YOU.

AND THEN HE'LL

BE SO EXCITED.

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