Hollywood Sex Wars

Synopsis: Max (Dominique Purdy), Aaron (Richard Blair) and Glen (Nicholas Cooper) have a track record littered with strike-outs and misfit hook-ups. The boys embark on a mission to up their hot babe batting average. They meet Hollywood Casanova Johnny Eyelash (Mario Diaz) who teaches these boys the game of scoring A-list arm candy. But there is one problem, the girls are organized, cunning and have an agenda of their own. Its not long before the girls, led by Big Wendy (Jenae Alt) and Little Wendy (Eli Jane) pick up on Johnny's tactics and Hollywood becomes one big booby trap.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Paul Sapiano
Production: WARNER BROTHERS PICTURES
 
IMDB:
3.3
NOT RATED
Year:
2011
96 min
Website
815 Views


( match lights )

Max:
THERE'S A WAR GOING ON

EVERY NIGHT IN HOLLYWOOD.

( dance music playing )

BOYS TRYING TO GET LAID.

AND GIRLS TRYING

TO GET PAID.

( cash register dings )

NOW MOS BACHELOR PARTIES SUCK.

IT'S JUST A BUNCH

OF DRUNKEN DUDES

HUDDLED AROUND:

A SKANKY STRIPPER.

BUT THIS ONE:

WAS THE SHIT...

AND ALL BECAUSE OF THIS GUY--

JOHNNY EYELASH.

WHAT'S THE MATTER,

SARAH?

MY SHOE BROKE.

SARAH,

HOLD ON, LOOK.

THERE YOU GO.

( gasps )

YOU'RE THE BEST!

( laughing )

( men chattering )

Max:
THIS IS A STORY

OF LOVE AND ROMANCE...

( men yelling )

AND WHAT COULD BE MORE ROMANTIC

THAN WHORES ON ALL FOURS

WITH STICKS POKING OU OF THEIR ASSES?

( cheering )

I'LL TELL YOU WHAT...

NOTHING!

BUT IT WASN' ALWAYS LIKE THIS.

OH, NO.

COME ON,

LET'S F*CK.

UH, NO, I CAN'T.

I GOTTA GET UP FOR WORK.

BUT YOU'RE GONNA

TAKE ME HOME, RIGHT?

UH, YEAH, YEAH.

I'M GONNA TAKE YOU HOME.

YOU'RE NOT GONNA TELL

YOUR FRIENDS ABOUT THIS,

ARE YOU?

NO...AND YOU BETTER NO TELL NOBODY, EITHER.

IT LOOK LIKE YOU

WERE ABOUT TO TELL

EVERY GODDAMN BODY.

Max:
THERE'S A CERTAIN TYPE

OF WOMAN IN L.A.

FROM HERE ON OUT,

WE'LL CALL THEM "THE ENEMY."

ACTUALLY, FAHID,

THE LAW IS ON PAGE'S SIDE.

THE INJURY:

WAS SUSTAINED AT WORK,

THUS YOUR RESPONSIBILITY.

SHE WAS DRUNK!

SO WHAT?

THERE ARE:

VERY SPECIFIC RULES.

YOU WON'T BE ABLE

TO GET ANY GIRLS

TO WORK HERE FOR MONTHS.

YOU KNOW WE CAN DO IT.

I SAW YOU:

ALL OVER HIM!

IF LOVE IS A BATTLEFIELD,

THEN THIS IS THE FRONT LINE.

I WANT MY HAIR!

THAT'S WHAT YOU GET!

WHAT ARE YOU GUYS

FIGHTING ABOUT?

WHO THE HELL ARE YOU GUYS?

SHE WENT HOME WITH

MY TUESDAY/THURSDAY,

AND I REALLY LIKED HIM.

SHE WAS STILL:

FUCKING WORKING.

YOU'RE FIGHTING

OVER A CUSTOMER?

YOU KNOW WHAT? THIS REALLY

ISN'T ANY OF YOUR FUCKING

BUSINESS, ALL RIGHT?

I KNOW,

BUT CAN YOU TALK,

PLEASE.

WHATEVER!

UHH!

GIVE ME BACK MY HAIR!

WHAT ARE YOU DOING?

I HAVEN'T CHECKED MY EMAIL

IN WEEKS.

WHAT?

YOU HAVE AN EMAIL ACCOUNT?

OF COURSE I DO.

WHAT DO YOU THINK I AM?

NOTHING. JUST...

YOU GIRLS ARE FIGHTING

OVER A GUY WHO MOST LIKELY

COULDN'T CARE LESS

ABOUT EITHER ONE OF YOU

EXCEPT FOR TO STICK IT IN.

SHE STARTED IT.

WHAT IS HIS NAME?

SHAWN.

LAST NAME?

UM, I DON'T KNOW,

BUT I KNOW HE WORKS

AT THE BEAUTY BAR.

OH, LOOK.

HERE WE GO.

SHAWN, 6'1",

SOUR MILK BREATH.

YEAH, THAT'S HIM.

THREE STARS IN BED?

LIKE THE RESTAURAN SYSTEM?

NO, SWEETIE, OUT OF TEN.

YEAH.

OH, LOOK...HPV.

YEAH, THAT'S HIM.

WHAT?

( mouths )

THAT MOTHERFUCKER.

OOH, LET ME SEE.

OH, MY GOD.

HOW DO YOU KNOW:

ALL THIS STUFF?

WE WERE JUST SO OVER

THE LYING, THE GAMES,

THE CHEATING,

SO WE STARTED A GROUP

WITH OUR FRIENDS

TO LOOK OUT FOR EACH OTHER.

WOW.

THIS THING IS AMAZING.

( crying )

IT WAS...

IT WAS SIX YEARS,

AND...

AND IT ENDED:

SO SUDDENLY.

YEAH, I KNOW,

I TOTALLY UNDERSTAND.

AND I THOUGH THAT THIS WOULD HELP,

BUT IT DOESN'T.

NO, I GET IT. I GET IT.

I WAS WALKING HOME

FROM THE BAR,

AND I SEE THIS CHICK

SITTING AT THE BUS STOP.

SHE WASN'T THE HOTTEST,

BUT SHE WAS OK:

FOR THAT TIME OF NIGHT.

ANYWAY, WE GET TO TALKING,

AND BEFORE YOU KNOW IT,

SHE'S COMING HOME WITH ME.

I JUST GOT TO:

GET MY STUFF.

THEN I SEE:

SHE'S GOT THIS BIG PLASTIC BAG

WITH ALL HER STUFF IN IT.

SHE'S A VAGABOND.

SHE'S PUTTING

THE "HO" IN HOMELESS!

BUT I WAKE UP,

AND SHE'S CHECKING

HER EMAIL.

I MEAN,

THAT MAKES SENSE.

I MEAN, WHERE ELSE

SHE GONNA CHECK:

HER EMAIL?

SHE AIN'T GOT NO WIRELESS

INTERNET IN THE BUSHES.

WAIT.

I THINK I'M GONNA BE SICK.

OKAY.

( grunts )

( panting )

THAT IS OUR DATERBASE,

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