HairBrained Page #3

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Do you have a package

for me or not?

There's no package for you, Pettifog.

No lying or complaining.

Okay.

Hey. Can I use your phone?

Yeah, sure.

It's private.

I understand.

Hey, if you want to

party, leave a message.

All right, whatever.

Hey, Mom, I'm calling to remind

you you forgot my birthday again.

It's your birthday?

Yeah. Big 1-4.

Hang on.

Faster.

Okay.

Whoo!

Faster.

Faster?

Yeah!

Whoo!

Faster.

Whoo!

Thanks, Leo,

that was really fun.

Well, happy birthday, Eli.

- Leo!

- Yo!

Faster!

What's wrong with this thing?

Hey, fuzzy, that's my

favorite machine.

Hi.

Happy birthday.

Thanks.

I wish I could go to Whittman.

There's no Mall Studies

major at Whittman.

I'm not a mall girl. I only shop

at the most exclusive boutiques.

Mm-hm.

You want to shotgun?

What's a shotgun?

Let me show you. Okay.

I know you have a thing for me.

What are you gonna do about it?

What are you talking about?

I see you checking out

my boyish curves.

Come, lay down with me.

You want to know a secret?

Okay.

I never kissed anyone.

So what? Neither have I.

I'm worried I might suck at it.

How hard can it be?

Kissing is too important

to be easy.

Not my lip.

Well, stop squirming.

Are you supposed to be drooling

directly into my mouth?

Toss up. Which states, in order

of entry into the union...

is Bruce "The Boss" Springsteen

not from?

Whittman?

Delaware, Pennsylvania, Georgia,

Connecticut...

Massachusetts, Maryland, South Carolina,

New Hampshire, Virginia, New York...

North Carolina, Rhode Island,

Vermont, Kentucky, uh...

Keep going.

Not Tennessee, Ohio, Louisiana,

Indiana, Mississippi, Illinois...

Alabama, Maine, Missouri, Arkansas,

Michigan, Florida, Texas, Iowa...

Wisconsin, California,

Minnesota...

15 seconds.

Um, not Oregon, Kansas,

West Virginia, Nevada...

Nebraska, Colorado, North

Dakota, South Dakota.

Do it, weirdo!

Yeah, do it.

Montana, Washington, Idaho, Wyoming, Utah,

New Mexico, Arizona, Alaska, nor Hawaii.

By god, he's done it.

Nice. Very nice.

In-frigging-conceivable.

Frigging magnificent.

Frigging, frigging. I want

a piece of your action.

You can't have any of my action.

Do you even know what your

action is?

You're the one who started

talking about my action.

Your action is blowing people away with

your genius, and your bizarre charisma.

You're a college star

in the making.

My quest is private, Leo,

it's not for other people.

Do you think

I should start a blog?

Whoa.

Nice try, Leo.

Mm?

This jacket

is from sweatshop city.

What are you talking about? It was

stitched in Beacon Falls, USA.

Makes me look like I have

old-man shoulders.

Man shoulders are a perk.

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