HairBrained Page #2

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13, walking around Harvard with

hair like that? That's bad ass.

You want a ride back to campus?

To Boston?

Yeah, let's roll.

Yo, Eli, get in...

or we aren't gonna haze you.

I can't.

Why not?

Because I don't go to Harvard.

I'm a freshman here at Whittman...

but my soul belongs to Harvard.

Don't worry about it, the important

thing is we part company like men.

Listen to me, you little freak.

Ow, oh, my god.

Harvard doesn't want your soul. Your

soul is cheap, and it's mediocre.

- Ow, stop.

- It's a Whittman soul.

- But they went on to win that year.

- How does that help us right now?

I'm just saying you should

learn, you know, perseverance.

Alan, if you didn't know the

answer, why did you buzz?

Because...

You can't do that.

If you don't know, don't buzz.

Hey.

My name is Eli Pettifog.

This is Leo Searly's last chance

at a classy future.

He's not afraid to gamble it all

on a hole and a ball.

Hits the putt.

Oh, it's on the lip. No, no, no,

it's rolling in. It's rolling in.

Oh, yes!

- Leo Searly takes home $100 million...

- Hey.

Hey, how are you?

Can I tell you something

super important?

Okay. As long as it's not

teenage stuff.

Don't worry. This is as grown up

as it gets.

All right.

First, I now hate Harvard with the

fanatical rage of a freedom fighter.

That sounds pretty teenage to

me.

And I've sworn my life

to its destruction.

The entire university?

No, just the college, I'm only

one man.

Second, I'm now the new

captain of the Whittman

Warring Hares Collegiate

Mastermind Team.

Oh, I loved that game as a kid.

That's the one with the pegs.

Like the little colored pegs,

then you get a combination...

No, it's a quiz show in which

two colleges compete...

to see which one is smart

and which one is dumb.

It's like the show Jeopardy,

with no money.

No money?

Forget the money, Leo. I found

the instrument of my revenge.

What makes him think he

can walk in here and say...

"I'm Eli Pettifog

and I'm your new captain?"

Because none of us walked in

and said I'm your new captain.

The first four digits of pi

are 3.141.

What is the

billionth digit of pi?

Nine.

Right you are.

Dude.

Here's your bonus.

Assuming Rudolph was in front...

how many ways are there to arrange

the other eight reindeer?

40,320.

Right you are.

You're fast, kid.

- Dude!

- Captain.

Sh*t, dude,

viral pandemic sick! Or not.

Ssh, I'm trying to study.

You should have a package

for Eli Pettifog.

Pettifog, okay.

P-E-T-T-I-F-O-G?

Yeah.

Weird name. What's it mean?

Okay, here we go. Pettifog means

you bicker over everything.

That's ridiculous.

Second definition, to practice

deception or trickery.

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