HairBrained Page #4

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Oh. Then how come

the waist is so tight?

What are you talking about?

It's form-fitting.

Flatters the silhouette.

Oh. Well, what about

the collar?

The jacket's perfect, Eli.

You promise?

Yeah.

Must be why I love it so much.

Excuse me, hello, thank you very much.

I hope you all enjoy your lunch.

Today we're offering

$1,000 to anyone...

who can stump the Whittman Warring

Hares Collegiate Mastermind squad.

Perky girl.

Okay, why does he have pubic

hair on his head?

Not the sort of question

we're looking for. Next!

But the people want to know.

Don't you want to know?

Yeah.

Okay, the people want to know, why does

your hair look like "down there" hair?

That's a great question.

My hair resembles pubic hair, because

it is designed to protect my brain.

Protect your brain from what?

From stupidity.

You calling me stupid?

- Mm, mm-mm.

- They're calling you stupid.

What about you?

I'm calling you stupid, too.

Ouch.

Yeah? Who will be stupid when

I'm eating your brain, Pettifog?

Grilled... with sea salt.

You're gonna grill my brain?

He's gonna grill your brain.

Caveman, you can't

even start a fire.

I'll rub your bones together.

Name one bone.

Your skull bone!

All right, kids, come on,

calm down.

Thank you very much. Don't forget

to come and see the Warring Hares.

- I could take him. Put me down.

- Bus your tables.

I want to thank you for benching me.

I never felt so confident in my life.

Hey, what are friends for?

Hey, sexy genius.

Hey, sexy lady, what's up?

- She's not talking to you.

- What are you talking about?

Hey, you teach me, I'll teach you. A little

quid pro blow, as they say in modern Latin.

See you at Vassar. Bye, boys.

It's quid pro quo.

In Collegiate Mastermind,

it might be quid pro quo...

but in the game of life, her

interpretation is right on the sticky bun.

You're so cool, I think

I'm gonna call you the fog.

Please, don't call me the fog.

That makes me sound dense.

Sorry.

Hey, baby.

Hi, Gertrude.

- Hi, ladies. Where's Leo?

- Hey, Gertrude.

Ha-ha, looks like

we got a ride.

- Nice.

- Yes, the van.

- So sweet.

- Oh, my god, this is awesome.

Neat, so cool. Fluffy and soft.

- Do you have a bed in this thing?

- I like this car.

Nice, isn't it? Feels kind

of like a land couch.

Hey, Leo, guess what?

Eli has a groupie.

Shut up, Romeo. Jesus.

- What's her name?

- Eve Hanson, she's a senior.

She cute?

She looks like Gertrude, if you

gave her blonde hair and money.

Romeo, the only groupie you're

ever gonna have is your hand.

That really hurt.

Good.

Buckle up, kids!

Rhinotillexomania is compulsive

nose picking.

Gynecomastia means man b*obs.

The naked mole rat

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