Fifty Shades Page #5

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and I'm currently

working on a fifth.

Listen to me.

Idon%do the romance thing.

Anal, yes.

Fisting, sure.

Two in the pink,

one in the stink, yeah.

I do that.

But I don't do romance.

You know, I'd like

to bite that lip.

I wish you would.

Ow!

Ow! Mmm...

Oh, my God!

(SIGHING)

Come on, let's get

you outta here.

God, that made me wet. Oh!

Oh, love it.

F*** the bullshit.

How you doin'?

Open your eyes.

Lizard kisses, come on.

Vampire bite!

I love it! More!

Yes! Yes!

Oh, my God!

You shut up and watch.

Get outta here!

Excuse me.

I have to warn you,

elevators make me horny.

Ooh, Daddy, I want you to

write a song about me.

I wanna be your muse.

Oh, this is a great time.

I'm inspired to write a song

about you right now.

Ooh, that feels so good.

'Cause I love

havin' sex unprotected

Ooh.

And I love when my

dick's in you naked

Deeper, Daddy,

deeper! Yeah!

Goin' raw in you, you, you...

Yes! Yes!

Goin' raw in you, you, you, you

Ooh, I think you going platinum

in about two minutes! Oh!

You're infected, yeah

Need antiseptic, yeah

'Cause, girl, you burned it

Ooh, that like an E

minor or something?

Oh, you burned it!

Oh, you burned

Ah... You...

Ooh, sh*t.

Motherf***er!

You done?

I gotta get to church.

Hey!

Oh.

You two are f***ing.

Ooh.

Hey, bro.

How you doin'?

My brother.

My brother, peace and blessings.

Hannah, this is my

little brother, Eli.

- Little?

- Yes.

I'm Eli, like the

movie about the book,

because I'm deep.

He is deep.

Balls deep.

Yeah.

Kateesha told me

a lot about you.

Yeah, you're like...

You're, like, a lot

plainer than

I thought you would be.

Well, she plain but pretty.

You're like a brick wall, just

boring and rigid... CHRISTIAN: Okay.

And 'gust ashy 'm some phases.

Okay, okay, okay, okay,

enough with the small talk.

We have a long

drive ahead of us.

We do. Great pleasure.

It's been a pleasure.

The moon shall rise again.

Ooh, that so romantic, boo.

What that mean?

Deuces, b*tch. Okay, I got you!

I see you later!

Nice meeting you.

Bye.

All right, so listen.

Meet me at the office later.

I have something

special planned for you.

Okay? Deuces, b*tch.

Mmm-hmm.

Who you calling a b*tch?

Oh, sh*t!

Damn, girl.

I was just saying.

He said it to her,

and I thought it was cute.

Mmm.

Damn, b*tch...

I mean, girl.

Are you ready for

the ride of your life?

Oh, my God! Are we gonna

go in your helicopter?

I can't believe you thought I was

gonna take you on the chopper.

We haven't even f***ed yet.

After you.

Holy sh*t!

You live here?

What, a black man can't have

a nice place like this?

No, a black man cannot have a

beautiful place like this.

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