Fifty Shades Page #6

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You know, Wesley Snipes

had a place like this,

before he stopped

doing his own taxes.

How about some wine?

Yes, please.

Okay-

Do you know why I brought

you here, Hannah?

I'm assuming to make sweet love.

I don't make love.

I f***.

Hard and quick.

Really quick.

It's like a Ronda Rousey fight.

You blink and it's over.

Okay.

But first you're

gonna have to sign

a nondisclosure agreement.

What's that?

It's basically lawyer talk

for "shut the f*** up."

Come with me.

I'll explain.

A nondisclosure agreement

protects both you and me,

but mostly me.

Behind this door is my playroom.

You mean, like, for your

PlayStation and stuff?

Ooh. That's a nice key.

So tight.

Keyhole don't wanna open!

You ready to get opened?

Reload, man! Reload!

I told you to reload!

I'm an Xbox man myself.

Oh, you next, Black!

You don't want none of this.

Yo, when you done with

Wendy Williams over there,

jump on this game so I can

shoot you in the face!

I'm gonna be honest with you, Christian.

She's not attractive.

Like, the b*tch look

like she got lupus.

Well, you look like a thumb

that's been yanked out

of somebody's a**hole.

On!

Slam dunk!

That's crazy.

That's crazy.

Yeah, well,

how about... Ha!

I got nothing. 'Cause

I'm better than you.

Okay, well, I got something

I really wanna show you.

Oh, my God. It's not more

broke niggas, is it?

No more broke niggas.

No offense.

And don't worry about those

ingrown hairs on your penis.

We can't see them through your pants.

Don't give her

all the dick, bro.

She don't deserve it.

Half the dick.

Over there f***ing

Charles Barkley.

F*** this sh*t!

I'm out!

Please, Ms. Steale.

Just keep an open mind.

Tantalizing.

Got these from my grandma.

You're a sick motherf***er.

No, Bill Cosby's

a sick motherf***er.

I'm just a dominant.

What does that

have to do with me?

I want you to give

yourself to me sexually.

Hence all the whips, chains

and freaky sex toys.

And what would I get out of it?

Me.

Oh, my God!

Ooh. Let me get this straight.

Mmm-hmm.

So, you wanna beat me

with these paddles...

Whip.

Whips.

You wanna chain

me to this rack...

Eh... Handcuff.

And humiliate me in

unimaginable ways,

and in exchange

for all this torture,

l get you?

Yeah, that's correct.

And women go for this?

Some women.

Wow. It's like Disneyland

for grown-ups. Yeah.

So, what do you think?

I'm pretty much

cool with anything,

as long as you promise you won't

tell my dad I f***ed a black guy.

So, what do you think?

Two things.

Where's the cup,

and when do we eat sh*t?

What we supposed to do in here?

Well, I thought we'd start with

a little bit of rope play.

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