Fifty Shades

Synopsis: An inexperienced college student meets a wealthy businessman whose sexual practices put a strain on their relationship.
Genre: Comedy
Director(s): Michael Tiddes
Production: Open Road Films
  2 wins & 4 nominations.
Rotten Tomatoes:
92 min


Give me that!


Hey, sir! Sir! Come back!

I've gotta get outta here.

Boo, boo, boo, hey, hey, hey.

Girl, you got that

list of questions?


I think I have

everything that I need.

Be happy you ain't got

this chlamydia, all right?

Ooh, girl, I tried

to take a piss earlier,

it was like there was an angry

dragon inside my snatch,

you know, like some

Game of Thrones shit!

That's terrible, Kateesha.

I can't help it when

a tall, athletic brother

come pushing up

on this thickness.

Ooh, yeah...

Oh, shit!

Oh, God, girl, I thank God

every motherfucking day

that the SuperSonics

moved to Oklahoma. Shit.

Okay, I'm gonna go so I won't

be late for your interview.

What the f*ck are

you wearing, girl?

There ain't no camouflage, no

fishnets and no fluorescent colors.

How they gonna see you in the dark, bitch?

How they gonna see you?

L gotta go.

Wow, so big.

Oh, I'm sorry.

If you're looking for the homeless

shelter, it's two doors down.

Oh, no, I'm...

I'm Hannah Steam.

I'm here to see Mr. Black.

The college bitch.

May I take your coat?

Yes, please.

Thank you.


Follow me.

In case you're wondering,

I'm the hot secretary

who's fucking the boss,

which means there's no

room for the dopey intern

with the damaged

hair and the cankles.

Come here.


That's the smell of his balls

after lunch and two

games of racquetball.


Have a nice day,

Ms. Steale.

Plain-ass bitch.

Ow! My neck.

Ow. Ooh.


Oh, shit!

I guess I should've

tried pulling.

Ms. Kavahellnah.

Christian Black.

Are you okay?

I think so, yeah.

Good, 'cause you got fucked up!

I mean, you hit that statue

like a hard-charging rhino,

and I say rhino because you're

a lot fatter than I thought,

and you got this

bump on your nose

that resembles a small horn.


Maybe you wanna get that squeezed.


A little Proactiv on it.

I'm not

Ms. Kavahellnah.

You ain't

Ms. Kavahellnah?

Who the f*ck are you?

My name is Hannah Steale.

I'm studying literature

with Kateesha at the university.


Please, have a seat.

Thank you.

You're welcome.


No. So, what do you want?

Jesus Christ!

Just spit it out!

A pencil.

A pencil... You

should've just said that in the beginning!

Gosh! Here, take 'em!


Thank you.

You gotta get your shit together, Ms.



These are Kateesha's

questions, okay?

"You have mad stacks of cash.

"How'd you get it,

and can I get some?"


Ms. Steale.

I got my money

the way most black

entrepreneurs got theirs.

Real estate?

Drug dealing.

See, you have to know your

business inside and out.

I smoked crack.

Not for long,

but just long enough to know

what a penis tastes like.

Tastes like raw rump roast.



I got all ashy, like E.T. when

he was sick in the river.

I lost six essential teeth.

Have you ever tried to eat

steak with one molar?

No. Why would

I do that?

Gnaw and suck.

Gnaw and suck.

It's hard.

Could be that you're lucky. No.

Keanu Reeves is lucky.

Flo Rida is lucky.

Iggy Azalea is lucky.

Yeah, he's lucky.

Next question.

"Is you gay, or is you

gay as a motherfucker?"

Just because you touch a penis

doesn't mean you're gay.

Especially if it's

for money or crack.

You're only gay if you

enjoy touching penis.

You touch a penis with attitude, like...

"l don't really like this."

That ain't gay.

It's just exploratory.

You said you're

an English major.

Was it Chaucer, Shelley or Keats

that first made you fall

in love with literature?

It was Seuss.


Cat in the Hat, Thing 1 and Thing 2.

and Thing 2!

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Marlon Wayans

Marlon Lamont Wayans (July 23, 1972) is an American actor, comedian, screenwriter, and film producer, beginning with his role as a pedestrian in I'm Gonna Git You Sucka in 1988. He frequently collaborates with his brother Shawn Wayans, as he was on The WB sitcom The Wayans Bros. and in the comedic films Scary Movie, Scary Movie 2, White Chicks, Little Man, and Dance Flick. However, Wayans had a dramatic role in Darren Aronofsky's critically acclaimed Requiem for a Dream, which saw his departure from the usual comedies. In 2009, he appeared in G.I. Joe: The Rise of Cobra. In 2013, he had a leading role in A Haunted House and co-starred in The Heat. A Haunted House 2 was released on April 18, 2014. He also appeared in the Netflix film Naked. Marlon has partnered with former Funny or Die co-founder Randy Adams to create What the Funny, an online destination for urban comedy. Marlon created the comedy competition television show, Funniest Wins, which aired on TBS in June - August 2014. As of 2014, Marlon and his brothers have been traveling the U.S. with "The Wayans Brothers Tour". In 2016, Wayans wrote, produced and starred in Fifty Shades of Black. The film is a parody of the 2015 erotic romantic drama film Fifty Shades of Grey. In 2017, NBC gave him his own sitcom, Marlon, for a 10-episode run. In September 2017, Marlon got renewed for a second season by NBC, set to premiere in 2018. more…

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Submitted on August 05, 2018

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    "Fifty Shades" STANDS4 LLC, 2021. Web. 22 Apr. 2021. <>.

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