Fifty Shades Page #4

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Don't tell me what to do,

Mr. "Oh,

let's go for coffee.

"No, stay away

from me!"

Let me put this in words

you can understand.

Now, right home you go!

No!

I told him.

Mmm-hmm. B*tch, you

smell like sh*t.

Ugh!

Oh, Hannah! Hannah!

Hey, it's cold out here.

You can't come out like that.

Oh, thank you.

How you feelin'?

Just a little bit drunk.

Are you, like, Donald-Trump-running-

for-president drunk

or, like, Donald-Trump-saying-

he-don't-like-Mexicans drunk?

'Cause that's

some crazy sh*t, man.

A lot of Mexicans out there just

crossing the border and sh*t!

And you show them niggas love!

Show them niggas love!

Can I show you some love?

What? No!

Come on. Come on!

Just one kiss, man!

I don't know when you gonna

be this drunk again!

Come on, gimme that kiss!

Ow! Stop!

Hey! Hey! She said no! Stop!

Christian!

You just push me, nigga?

Oh, you got some crazy

sh*t coming, boy.

Wait. Hold up.

This nigga comin' back?

Comin' to you, nigga.

He comin' back!

Damn!

Christian, stay down!

Okay. Okay.

The nigga's a ninja!

This nigga's a ninja.

Worldstar!

He had such a beautiful face.

Did he leave?

You better run!

Oh, I don't feel

so good, Christian.

Come on, let's get you home.

Oh, no, I can't with you,

because my roommate is in there.

Don't worry. She's being

well taken care of.

What's your name again?

My name is Eli.

My friends call me Weekday.

I'm Christian's brother.

Ooh... Mmm...

The poor one.

Mmm-mmm...

I know what you're saying,

"Oh, he's financially poor,

yet spiritually rich."

Mmm...

Nah, that don't count.

What do you feel?

What do you feel?

Oh, my God.

When does that end?

Oh, my God!

The weight of my penis makes my

money too heavy to carry around!

Yes!

I'll see you later, woman.

Until we meet again.

How can I touch you?

I mean, get in touch with you!

My number

is seven.

Oh!

That's a good number.

Oh, God.

I'mma call you!

Good morning.

I've been staring

at you all night.

I haven't blinked once.

Gosh, my eyes are hurting.

How did I get here? I

brought you here, Hannah.

Did you undress me?

I sure did. Mmm...

My God, we didn't...

No, we didn't.

And I have the blue

balls to prove it.

Look at these things.

Ugh!

What are those?

What the f*** are those?

Oh... it hurts so much.

I don't know what to do!

Why are you showing me this?

I ordered you some breakfast.

Here. Eat. You'll

need your strength.

But you licked this one, and did all

sorts of other weird stuff to it.

Can I get a fresh one?

Maybe some jam.

No, eat it.

Why don't you just

leave me alone, Christian?

Because I'm incapable

of leaving you alone.

I'm a certified stalker.

I have four restraining orders,

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