Doug Stanhope: Deadbeat Hero Page #4

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I'm f***ing bored out of my tit.

Invent new drugs.

That's what you should be doing.

Don't fight the old ones.

Fight to get new weirder ones or

something weirder establishments to do all men in.

And more holes. That's what you ladies need. More holes.

That would help up. That would pork me up.

A new and an exciting hole.

Now all right there wing, they're all against the cloning,

cause they're afraid of the mutations.

"Well, science is an advance.

All the mutations we could have..."

Maybe the mutations is where we find the answer?

Maybe I accidentally spit out a littel girl

baby that's has got 44/90 holes all over her body.

These big, flappy, ugly, holes.

And you go "Ah, now a long-term

commitment is a viable option."

Where's the dowry?

I want that one for neverlasting.

"Why do you always try to f*** me

in the shoulder hole? Why do you do that?"

"Cause you won't let me f*** your shoulder hole!"

"Why can't you just make love to my chest cavity,

like when we first met?"

"You were all sweet all the time."

"Well, just let me put the head in it".

"It's worse, stop it! I think you're gay."

Mutations are exciting.

There's not nearly enough with them.

They try to fix them...

Did you see that two-headed baby they killed last month,

while they tried to cut it apart?

This is hilarious, you know what I'm talking about?

There was two-headed, this...

There've been four in the last year, all in Central America.

I don't know what they put in the water,

but I am going down there cause...

But there were like four in a year,

and they tried to separate them all, I think one survived.

One out of four they're good for,

which still keeps in the majors but...

But the other ones I understood why they cutted aprt,

cause the other ones with the regular side-by side

siamese twins. We've all seen that.

So yeah, sure. Lop one of them up.

It's detached disturb. Sure, cut them apart.

It's a heck oddity.

It's like having a bearded lady baby.

Ok, we've seen it. Shave it, go ahead.

But this one was... This one was special...

Anyone know what the f*** I'm talking about?

There had a second head growning up

at the top of the bottom head.

Like a totem pole.

A townhouse-head baby.

A condom.

And that's unprecedented.

Keep that one around, douchebag.

Do not try to scissor that one apart,

I want to see that one grow.

I'll get the Guinness Book World Records again

to see this one as a full grown little lady.

Come on!

They had to cut it off.

And this is why I understood cause...

They had to try to take to top...

Well, I mean, obviously.

You can't cut the bottom on half

and move the top one down...

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